Me - You wanna watch a Dateline and eat chips with me.
Abe - Yep. What’s the story?
Me - Young girl goes missing in Akron, Ohio.
Abe - Awesome. Lemme get a bowl... <15 minutes later>
Abe - I’m thinking it’s the boyfriend. It’s usually the boyfriend. With all those scratches on his neck I’m guessing he was attacked by a rabid animal and he went crazy and killed his girlfriend.