Robin Williams. Kate Spade. Anthony Bourdain. I’m so sad by all the loss these past few years - celebrities, real people, our friends, family members gone too soon after losing their battle with mental illness...
I have fought this battle throughout my life. I have stared at Death in the face and I have danced with the devil and walked in the darkness while on the verge of desperation, not knowing how I was going to get to the other side. I have wrestled with whether the pain of living outweighed the joy of living. I’ve screamed in the shower, alone, tears streaming down my face, begging God to take me home. I’ve fought against the urge to drive my car into a wall. I’ve rebelled against taking my medicine because I felt weak for needing it. I have canceled counseling appointments because wearing the label of “in therapy” was too heavy a burden to carry, at times. I have hung my head down and suffered silently for a long time, all the while wearing a smile or hiding behind laughter, to protect myself from the judgment and to protect you from feeling uncomfortable - because people just don’t know what to do, what to say, how to deal with this illness. .
It’s for real. It’s not something people can just “shake off”. I’m not in that dark place anymore, thank you God - but just a few short years ago I could have been one of those statistics. .
You NEVER know the battles others are fighting in their minds, behind closed doors, underneath the forced smiles...
If you see someone you love suffering, don’t be afraid to reach out to them. You are not responsible for ”fixing” them...but sometimes all it takes is knowing they are not alone to give them hope to get help. .
If you are the one suffering, please know that you can get through this. Talk to someone you trust. Don’t suffer alone. Life is precious. Don’t wait, get the help you need to keep fighting. I know, I’ve walked in your shoes...and I’m so glad to still be here to talk about it.
Love you friends ❤️ .
PS: Thanks for not judging...