I woke up at 12:30p today. On a Monday... 😂 Rest is the main thing I've been focusing on this week so I haven't been sharing much, figured you deserved an update! 🤘🏽
I'm walking around like a semi-normal human being now (cordless & bagless feels good) minus the fact that my guts are missing. I expected to get out of my second surgery, running laps and feeling like a million bucks. Instead, a little sadness rolled over me as I soaked in my new body and I may get a little too TMI here but I don't really care... It's been an adjustment to say the least. Food is running through my system just as fast as it was when it was going to thru bag and because I haven't "gone to the bathroom" in 2 months, it's been hard to get used to. I'm having to use muscles that I didn't use before and to be honest, I don't have a lot of control. A couple nights of no sleep because I was up every hour running to the bathroom, hit me hard. I found myself tearing up, and actually missing my bag (as crazy as that sounds). I would look down at my incision & get a knot in my stomach at the sight of this 4-inch gash that will forever be there.
Before I could get to sad, I'd stop myself. Slap myself out of it... I'm a fuxking WARRIOR. I don't get to feel bad for myself because there are people reading this who have it WAY worse than I do. There are people who need my smile & my positivity and it's SELFISH of me to not give that. .
So I snapped out of it. Choosing happiness and knowing that it will be okay. Everything will be okay and it just takes time.
Also, I've got a great tattoo idea to cover my scar when it heals. 💕