I sit here tonight looking at myself; I shed a tear of disappointment. Not where I expected to be, look or feel. I realise how much I've been through, my first break up which resulted in my entire life flipping upside down, losing not only my lover but my home and my career. Moving back in with my parents with very little left to my name; I used every last cent to move back to Melbourne. Not many people know this but for the first 6 or so weeks I had no furniture, for the first six months I really struggled to make ends meet; my electricity was a day away from being disconnected, eating only 1-2 meals a day because I didn't have enough money for food. I was out drinking, yeah I thought it was fun until I gained 8 kilos. Asking for help is not my strong point, I have a wealth of love and support in my life yet I could not being myself to ask for a helping hand.
I did not set myself up well for this comp, so to scrape back over the past 12 weeks, on my own, to how my body looks now I should be pretty dam proud!
Im now an incredibly happy and positive person, that doesn't mean Im not human, I have inner demons that i usually tend to keep to myself.
But this, this was worth sharing, this is not for sympathy, this is honesty, this is my peak week.