Empathy & Compassion.
There is not a single set way for how a survivor should act after traumatic events.
The fact is YOU don't know how you could react until you are in it. The fact some people can say well why didn't you..you should have...I would have..oh hell no.
Shut up!! For real.
You have no idea what you would do, how you would feel, yet alone how or who you would be.
People have to rebuild their lives after traumatic events. The reality they had woken up to that morning is gone, forever changed, it can't be undone.
There's events I know I can't understand, but I empathize with every part of my being.
From my experience, I'm strong and I have my moments where I'm not as strong. Where I feel pretty down, weak, want to hide. I have them both.
I'm strong because I had to be. I realized I was losing my life to the things I hadn't healed from.
I was alive but barely living.
I had went from my parents home into living with with my ex. I didn't have time on my own away from manipulating people who wanted control over my thoughts and actions.
I've had to rebuild my life in many ways compared to when I was born into it.
I had to rebuild around loss of innocence. I was disgusted by myself I wanted to forget, but every time looking in the mirror I saw it. My skin would crawl, I would want to rip it off. The night terrors I used to have. I remember dreaming about it when I woke I was screaming in my bed crying, punching and kicking the air.
There were not enough showers in the world that could cleanse me of what I felt dirty, shame, guilt, anger, and eventually hatred for men. I became very angry, explosive, looking for a fight.
That was 9, and 17yrs ago and while I have made progress and there has been healing..
I'm still paranoid, I carry a taser and knife with me at all times along with sleeping with them at my bedside. When out I'm super aware when I'm by myself or son, I've checked the people around me, looked for weapons. Looked for possible exits and have thought about things I can use as weapons if needed. My brains fires away. . (Continued in Comments⬇️⬇️⬇️)