I walked into the building filled with anger, bitterness, anxiety, fear and the most pain I've ever felt. I've struggled hard in my 31 years here but this was by far the worst pain I've ever felt. For the first time in my life I could say I was depressed. Completely and utterly broken. I understand depression now. It took everything I had to walk in those doors and everything else to stay and not run for the wild. I had my RBF on majorly, arms crossed and snuck into the back. I didn't want to be here! Why did I have to be here? This is not fair. Am I really one of these people?! How did this happen to me? How is this my life? My first share went like this... " I'm carlah, I guess I struggle with codependency so my therapist told me to come here, and to be honest I'm really angry I'm here, and I don't want to be here and idk if I'm ever coming back."
It's been over 30 days but I finally had the courage and the realization this week that I need this, this is one of the greatest gifts I could have ever received and I'm soooo grateful for this, what it's down for my heart, my healing, my relationship the Jesus, my faith and trust and surrender to God and the sisterhood and community it's given to me in just a short time! This works if you work it. It's transforming and I'm so honored and humbled to be a part of something so beautiful. Greatful for my brokeness do I can be rebuilt on a firm foundation and ROOTED in CHRIST😭💗🙌🏼. Overwhelmed by Gods overwhelming reckless love for me and for you. He wants us at any cost. He is a gentleman and will wait until you're ready to truly surrender to him and sometimes that takes falling to your knees and on your face and the pain being faaaar greater then any fear. The price is high the reward great, brave the wilderness. .
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