I have been feeling so uninspired with yoga lately...
Doing #igyogachallenges use to give me so much, but lately it feels like I'm just going through the motions of my personal practice, and getting nothing but frustration and self-doubt.
Classes and teachers that used to make me feel that spark just don't bring me to life in the same way, and I end up finishing most classes feeling more frustration. More self-doubt.
But yoga is just a reflection of life, and currently I am in an extremely low and depressive state, fighting off the daily, and sometimes hourly, self-destructive thoughts.
The eating disordered thoughts-- "you should binge", "you should restrict", "fuck it all".
The thoughts that I am not worthy-- "you are disgusting", "of course you can't do that pose, you idiot", "I have more important things to do than go to class/practice".
But, you know what?
We all have our low times.
Some more than others, but we all do.
We all waver on our commitments to ourselves, in favor of self-destructive behaviors like junk food and crappy tv, at times.
We all ignore our body's signals and do what we know is worst for it, at times.
We all have times of low self esteem and self-worth.
We all feel less than ourselves sometimes.
And we should allow ourselves to ride these waves of ebbing and flowing inspiration, creativity, and self-love
We absolutely must try again!
Get back on the horse.
Keep loving yourself-- HARD.
Because you're the only self you have, at least in this lifetime.
And you are worthy of
and a sense that you belong.
Because you do.
We ALL do.
(Vatayanasana/Horse pose, with half-lotus)
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