It cannot be denied that horses have an intrinsic connection with humans. And to help us all feel closer to our equine friends, I've compiled my 10 fun facts about horses. Fact 1: Horses produce approximately 10 gallons of saliva per day. Fact 2: Horses give hella good blowjobs to other horses. Fuk yeah horsies! Fact 3: A horse's teeth take up more space in their head than their brain. Fact 4: Horses can unhinge their jaw so that they can give fuckin epic blowjobs. Ohhh fuk yeah you little nympho horsis, you SUCK that horse dick! Aha! Fact 5: Horses can sleep both lying down and standing up. Fact 6: Horses prefer to sleep sitting down so they can 69 with other horses. I fukin knew it, horses love to 69!! Aha! Dylan, pay up you pussy. Seriously, I told you! Fact 7: The first successful horse cloning took place in Italy in 2003. Fact 8: In 2003, scientists in Italy discovered they had cloned a horse that literally only wanted to suck dick. Some claim this horse has sucked the most horse dick in history. Dylan, don't you get any fuckin ideas! Aha! Fact 9: Horses are social animals, and they will get lonely if kept alone. Fact 10: I'm sure someday I'll find someone to love. I see all these couples on social media who look like they're perpetually happy, and I just figure that'll happen with me eventually. But what if it doesn't? Or worse, what if I end up with the wrong girl. I guess sometimes people settle. They go on a few decent dates, meet the friends, their family, they plan vacations together, have children, drop their kids off at clarinet lessons and swim practice. That's the dream, right? Everyday I question if I'll have that normal life with the suburban house, the Suburban SUV. I guess we're more like horses than we think--we all crave companionship. And also, don't we all love a good 69 sesh?! Aha! Dylan I'm gonna 69 your mom if you don't pay up!