Instead of immediately posting I sat with my thoughts after tonight's suspension and wrote all this down as opposed to picking up my phone and going back to the weight of social media. Here it goes.
I have been angry, depressed, lost and holding onto so much for so long that I lost myself in the process. I lost control so many times and have been so up-and-down.
Today I did the most spiritual suspension of my life and I couldn't have been in a more beautiful place with a great group of people. My adrenaline skyrocketed. I felt all of the emotion surge through and out of me through my tears and my exhales. It felt like eternity but at the same time didn't feel but a few seconds. I left my body. I went somewhere else. When I came back as my feet touched back into the water I was lighter, refreshed and I left it all hanging in the tree. You might not understand it and that's OK, today was for me and not for anyone else. I finally let go of all that was smoldering inside of me. Keep moving forward, love life and feel every moment. This experience here with this SB tribe is one that I will cherish forever. Learning to come back down to earth and just be. I definitely became more humble and have learned a lot about reconnecting to the old me and the basics of my craft. Don't lose sight of where you came from and what you have been taught, or what you have been through. Seize this damn life and run with it. I found the lion inside of me again. I will never forget today, it was different not having my Infamous family there but I could not share this moment with a better group of individuals, I consider you family now too. #fuckallthehastags