I wish that I had been more open, more vocal at the time. Sharing with people just how lost and detached I was. I didn't want to alarm anyone. I kept it to myself. But what that did in turn was isolate me... and I might have otherwise made some friends or found some networks of people also going through trauma... which might have really helped me along the way.
Please know that you can share your stories with me, and I won't judge. I have been there. I am still there, day after day, navigating the waters of grief. It's so hard some times. And other times, it's easy. My work with families and birth and mothers and babies - that work makes me so happy. It fills me up. It nurtures my wounded heart. Nothing will ever fix me. I can't be fixed. I have to live with what I am, and what I am is what I have been through, and what I have been through has made me who I am. Full circle. None of us are perfect packages. We all carry burdens and secrets and shames and sorrows and regrets. We all have thoughts that keep us up at night. And we all are just trying to get through each day in life, searching for meaning, searching for joy, searching for love... and sometimes we find it. Sometimes we don't. Today, I am choosing to let social media be a place where I can share something from my heart, and hope that when it reaches you, out there, wherever you are, it strikes a chord, and helps you with wherever you are on your journey. You are stronger that the world leads you to believe you are. Trust me. Wherever you are, my aching and swelling heart reaches out to you.
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