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•भागूँ तो भला कहाँ, ख़ुद से छ़ुपने की सुरंग ख़ुद ही में बना रही हूं• P.S-Lately life has been no less than a mess.Everything around is more or less an addition to the same.'Lost' happens to be too less of an emotion to reflect the mess I'm going through.I have no possible way for now,none to help and absolutely nothing to divert my mind with.

There comes a stage in life,when you arent worried for the number of friends you're left with or if the number of blank calls your ex happens to make every fucking midnightor if any fling is yet to start that you're well aware is gonna lead you to another heartbreak of if you're left with absolutely zero funds to travel or if the life at workplace is howling over your mental peace or if you're amidst people and yet always lonely;
All that matters is if you're just passing across life or if you're living it every passing moment.

Time is a teacher,we all have been spoon fed the same,but I feel our innerself and the life lessons are a bigger teacher than anything else.At times we're to take decesions that might sound an absolute 'fuck all' decesions of the lifetime,but without them survival becomes next to impossible.

My faith in my own self is shaking and I'm feeling absolutely clueless for where I should be heading to;
But I feel its important to make fuck all terrible devastating decesions,for only then the vision becomes clear with what you want in life.
People out there facing the same mess,laugh it off right in the eye,
For its love to be a looser at times.
Mad tales of a Delhi girl🖤
Myworld#myview#mysanityinabottle#mylostsoul#clulesswonders#colorstreet#gameoftones#myphotography#mydeadpool#writerscommunity#writersofinstagram#writersnetwork#hindipoetsofinstagram#meaninglessness#sorrowsandpromises#fuckeduplife#lanesoflife#escapingreality#scaredofhappy#darkfacesquad#insanefocus#lightisthenewblack#nightphotography#comfortingsounds#blockedlivesmatter#entangledthreads#momentsofbeing#celebratingpain#alonetime#shoesoflife#alonebutnotlonely🍀

I was 12 when I was first faced with the reality of my own mortality.
Since then I have had a debilitating fear of growing old.
It has manifested into my irrational fear of endings.
I prolong completing a book as much as I can and maybe that's why I read so much because it signifies that there is always one more to read.
I shut my eyes when a death scene comes in a movie and it takes everything I have to sit through to the end.
Over the years I've learned to stay put.
Maybe that is why I'm still not good with loss. Or moving on from a broken heart. And that is why I take so long.
I still wake up at nights in cold sweat.
I still can't dream seamlessly because it always ends up in a nightmare - not of monsters but my own death.
But I'm learning.
Because some days, growing up seems like the best thing that happened.

MOST RECENT

❤❤
जब ठंडी हवा चले,
और,
काली घटाओं जैसी
उसकी जुल्फें
उसके हसीन चहरे को
ढक दे, अगर
वो उन्हें फिर से
अपने कानो के पीछे न डाले,
समझ लो, इस सावन
उसे भी,
प्यार हो गया है ।
#writersoninstagram #writersofinstagram #writersofig #writerscommunity #instawrite #instawriter #instawriting #instapoets #instapoet #instapoetry #instapoetrygram #poems #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #dreams #hindipoetry #lekhak #hindipoetsofig #hindipoems #hindipoetsofinstagram #hindi #wordgasm #hindipoetsociety #love #saavan #pyaar #love #toomuchsugar #toomuchcheese

•भागूँ तो भला कहाँ, ख़ुद से छ़ुपने की सुरंग ख़ुद ही में बना रही हूं• P.S-Lately life has been no less than a mess.Everything around is more or less an addition to the same.'Lost' happens to be too less of an emotion to reflect the mess I'm going through.I have no possible way for now,none to help and absolutely nothing to divert my mind with.

There comes a stage in life,when you arent worried for the number of friends you're left with or if the number of blank calls your ex happens to make every fucking midnightor if any fling is yet to start that you're well aware is gonna lead you to another heartbreak of if you're left with absolutely zero funds to travel or if the life at workplace is howling over your mental peace or if you're amidst people and yet always lonely;
All that matters is if you're just passing across life or if you're living it every passing moment.

Time is a teacher,we all have been spoon fed the same,but I feel our innerself and the life lessons are a bigger teacher than anything else.At times we're to take decesions that might sound an absolute 'fuck all' decesions of the lifetime,but without them survival becomes next to impossible.

My faith in my own self is shaking and I'm feeling absolutely clueless for where I should be heading to;
But I feel its important to make fuck all terrible devastating decesions,for only then the vision becomes clear with what you want in life.
People out there facing the same mess,laugh it off right in the eye,
For its love to be a looser at times.
Mad tales of a Delhi girl🖤
Myworld#myview#mysanityinabottle#mylostsoul#clulesswonders#colorstreet#gameoftones#myphotography#mydeadpool#writerscommunity#writersofinstagram#writersnetwork#hindipoetsofinstagram#meaninglessness#sorrowsandpromises#fuckeduplife#lanesoflife#escapingreality#scaredofhappy#darkfacesquad#insanefocus#lightisthenewblack#nightphotography#comfortingsounds#blockedlivesmatter#entangledthreads#momentsofbeing#celebratingpain#alonetime#shoesoflife#alonebutnotlonely🍀

From my Hindi Poetry collection.

•तसल्ली से बैठने के दिन कहाँ बिकते हैं, एनक बदल ख़ोजूं तो श़ायद मिल जाएँ• P.S-This picture was clicked by me on one of the days when Chandni Chowk happens to be crowded as fuck,for not just the people are to be blamed for but also the vehicles and the hustle-bustle all day long.And like always I was wandering here and there and only the I saw him sitting all to himself sipping in tea,and all lost in thoughts.

Often we fail to justify the readon behind clicking people but most of the times its the moment and the silence within their souls that forces to capture them there and then.
He wasnt bothered with people crossing by or the regular hustle-bustle or with the rikshaw puller who was snoring out loud or with the aloo chaat vendor who was busy making plates after plates for people dropping by or with me for a fact who was right their infront of him clicking him.

I,for a change understand now that I fancy people who're silent.For I can hear the unheard not for I'm some divine woman who can read minds but for I've been in the same boat for soooo long that now I prefer being all to myself all the time.

And trust me its absolutely insane and a rush to have nobody around you most of the times for the voices within becomes clear enough to be heard all the time.
Madness has a face and thats love and I'm in love.
Mad tales of a Delhi girl🖤
Myworld#myview#mystory_shots#mysilentworld#myrushhour#myphotographicjourney#myenergycode#writersofinstagram#writersnetworkmirakee#hindipoetsofinstagram#hindiclubbers#poeticjusticebraids#colotheme#gameoftones#colorstreetphotography#alltogethernow#headisspinning#thoughtsarepowerful#energiesoftheuniverse#memoriesinthemaking#laneofpain#silencehasameaning#vagabonding#hoppingalone#neednone#doorsofinstagram#gatheringsarentfun#solotraveler#artofvisuals#capturingthemagic#alonebutnotlonely🍀

•मुरझ़ाए हुए चेहरों की चुगली सुनी है कभी, सन्नाटे भी गला फ़ाड़ हंस पड़ते हैं• P.S-Like always,I was sitting in an auto thinking about nonsensical stuff only when I saw this woman at the signal,staring me from a distance as if I'd stolen her lost property.For a second,I grew little uncomfortable but immediately I was reminded of the fact that this day wont happen again,neither the moment and hence I stared her back too.

I absolutely fell in love with what she was wearing.It was a beautiful violet color kurta-salwar and her eyes were a combination of grey-brown.Admiring beauty is an art and beauty has no definite form or kind.She was smoking a bidi and simultaneously was begging at the signal.She had beautiful hair passing cross her waist and was wearing a red bangle in both her hands.

Though she kinda didnt like me staring back and only then I decided to click her and I was left amazed that she didnt refrained from getting clicked.I absolutely love meeting people and listening to their stories.

If given a chance,I would have loved sitting next to her,smoking a bidi as was she doing,discussing life and stories.
For I am discovering love these days and I feel getting even a glimpse of people and jotting the story behind is no less than love.

Mad tales of a Delhi girl🖤
Myworld#myview#mystoriesoninstagram#myinstagramdiary#mydiarytales#unknowntones#undiscoveredvoices#colorstone#gameoftones#colorstreetphotography#writersofinstagram#writersnetwork#hindipoetsofinstagram#hindiclubbers#senselessart#capturingmagic#unheardvocals#additionsandalterations#listenersgroove#vagabondshoes#travellersnotebook#habituallinestepper#lostvoicescreaming#alertalert#dangerink#memoriesofalifetime#painhasapurpose#silenceisbliss#artistic_nation#alonebutnotlonely🍀

•मैं तुम्हें कभी नहीं जताऊँगी के किस हद़ मेरे मरक़ज बन गए हो तुम,
मैं तुम्हारे आगे रेत की दिवार नहीं बन सकती, मुझ़े टूट जाने से ख़ौफ आता है• P.S-At times I wonder if expression has any value or not.What if we choose not to express or if we choose to but cant or if we choose to hide it all lifelong just living it from within!

Why expression of love,grief,pain,laughter,giggles,tears,rage,agression,passion,sacrifice,compromise,friendships,etc is important?
Why cant the other end be smarter?why words are a necessity to showcase emotions?why not the other end can just obseve and understand?why dates and silent walks are important in any kinda relationship?why cant we write letters irrespective of being in the same city?why cant we pay a visit when the other person disconnects or ignores the attempts?

Why cant a hug resolve mess?why cant a kiss sublime pain?why cant a touch heal wounds?why do we get married?why do we need the papers to prove love??? These questions run across my tiny brain 24*7! Often I think why just me?why me infact?why do I have all the 'why's'?
Love has faces and this weirdness is no less than love.

Tiny brains of a Delhi girl🖤
Myworld#myview#myphotodiary#mycollectionkeepsgrowing#myinstagramgallery#picturesofpictures#colorsplash#colorstreet#ganeoftones#writersofinstagram#writersnetwork#hindipoetsofinstagram#hindiwriterscommunity#instagrammers#silenceizmine#darkdaysofsummer#pictureshaveathousandwords#aromaticinsights#voyager#vagabondshoes#travellersnotebook#diaryofdead#womanofmetal#heartbreak#hisandhers#lostlover#dancingwiththestars#loveisdope#artinlife#alone#alonebutnotlonely🍀

•हां बिलकुल एेसे ही मिलेंगे कभी, मेरा नाम तो याद रहेगा ना!• P.S-Today is a better day.I have thoughts crossing lanes yet it aint that painful as it usually is for I guess my mind's getting accustomed to this painful start almost every day.Coming back to this picture,this I had clicked days back when it rained heavily for some 3-4 days continously.

I was coming back from office after meeting a friend and only when I'd exit I saw them both,sitting there all tp themselves waiting for their relative who had gone to buy tickets for New Delhi.

There was nothin unusual with their conversation or the posture they were sitting in but for the innocence with which they were sitting there and enjoying the weather was quite a sight.I want to sit someday just like they were with my girlfriends sharing how life has been to us and other stuff.

I dunno if I wanna work and earn a living for somedays I wish to smoke a joint with all the charsis sitting there infront of the famous Gauri Shankar Mandir,and somedays I wish to earn the best that I can to travel places that I've been wanting to,somedays I wish to sleep on the roadside gazing stars in the sky and somedays I just wanna be with my neice for life.

I'm headfucked I guess but its love to feel that way for its a delight to feel lost all the time in a world where people love you for reasons and not selflessly.
Mad tales of a Delhi girl🖤
Myworld#myview#mystories#myphotography#myinstagramgallery#myunseencity#colorstreet#gameoftones#colorsync#writersofinstagram#writersnetwork#hindipoetsofinstagram#hindipoeticnerves#mindfucked#lostwomanblues#peoplehavenoclue#ideasoflife#differentworld#lonerboner#diaryofamadblackwoman#hopelessness#painnevergoesaway#lostlover#hisandhers#darknessisbeautiful#silenceiskey#believe#faithalone#artofyou#globeshoes#alonebutnotlonely🍀

•भागी थी मैं पकड़ने उन्हें जब,
बीच रास्ते टकरा गिर पड़ी इकदम ही, उठ बैठ संभल भी ना पाई थी अबतक,
और सुबह़ ले गई उन्हे• P.S-Days pass by and you just fail to reckon its not just the day that ends,but also what ends are stories,people,moments,gestures,love,compassion,friendships and zillion other emotions.

I personally have lost soo many important people that only when now I have to leave the one's who're there today,I fail.The fear of not having them anymore eats you all the time that someday its all gonna end.Someday I'd be no more myself but would my absence bother anybody? if somebody somewhere would shed a tear thinking about me? If I'l survive in somebody's memory! Not that its important but that it affects.

People get affected all the time;how hard may one try,but they do.None is that strong that they can refrain from not getting attached or affected.Also I feel its no harm for having weakness is a sign of a learner.Its fine to feel weak,even better to cry it out as only a learner would survive the hard time.

The concept is as weird as I am.I am lost and I feel that all the time.
But I'm safe.

Madness in words🖤
Myworld#myview#mystories#myphotography#myinstagramdiary#griefandloss#writersofinstagram#writersnetwork#hindipoetsofinstagram#hindiwriterscommunity#madnessinhead#lostgirl#cityscape#escapingreality#sinkingheart#meltingaway#farawaypeople#deathvalley#colorsplash#coloradosprings#souleater#thoughtsandprayers#dancingtime#lessonlearnedthehardway#lostintime#notmyera#inwrongtime#vagabondshoes#alonebutnotlonely🍀

•कुछ़ दफ़ा कुछ़ सवा़ल ही बहुत हैं, पढ़ाई अरसों की बेमाने सी लगती है• P.S-I havent been active on instagram from quite a while now for I aint keeping good in the head and hence recollection or analysis of both thoughts and stories became almost a heck of a task to acheive.Very recently I've dropped in resignation in my current company and hence every other day is just passing by,where I'm almost failing to understand how should I be absorbing them in.

For the man in this picture made me feel back to life for some reason.I had got down at city centre and booked this auto where the minute I sat in,I saw this huge 'Bamboo danda' kept in at one side and without paying much attention I abruptly said;
'ये मारने को रख़ा है क्या भईया' And this fellow,with a very positive laugh said;
'नहीं मैडम,एक पैर ख़राब है हमारा' For a minute I was left both embarassed and stunned and immediately apologized for having said what I said and even then he reverted in a very positive tone saying its okay for life cant stop with uncertain happenings like these.

I am a big cry baby and I couldnt stop crying even then for not just with what he said but also for I've been uneccecarily getting myself struck in a lot of unwanted mess and shedding some tears made me feel soo good for yes its okay to have shitt happen to you.

Survive for you have alot to do.
Mad tales of a Delhi girl🖤
Myworld#myview#myphotography#myinstagrammylife#mydiaryofthoughts#colorscheme#gameoftones#colorist#colorstreetphotography#headfucked#writersnetwork#writersofinstagram#hindipoetsofinstagram#hindiwriterscommunity#momentsofpeace#peoplehavestories#learninglessonsthehardway#vagabond#travellersnotebook#hopelessrecords#painnevergoesaway#silencehaspower#soundsofblackness#darkdaysofsummer#artofpain#lifeless#alonebutnotlonely🍀

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