I came across this picture and it made me really think about our journey. I went out and got these flowers for myself immediately after my pregnancy with my daughter was confirmed. This is our timeline:
I was introduced to a wonderful man who was different. He put labels on his kitchen cabinets, loved taking anything mechanical apart and putting them back together in better ways, was adorably socially awkward, and almost painfully intelligent. He showed me a new perspective of the world and I love him fiercely.
We had a son who amazed us every day. Our son had a spotlight focus. He didn’t speak for what felt like the longest time, but he showed his cunning with his interests in ways that astounded us. His problem solving knew no limits. He did not enjoy busy places or unfamiliar people, but for us he would shine with undivided love.
Mara made a dramatic entrance in the world. We were told in the delivery room that she would be different. I was so profoundly sad because I didn’t know what that would mean. I didn’t know what she’d be capable of and what her life would look like. I didn’t know who Mara would grow to be.
Two months later I took both of the children for a check up. I naturally expected the pediatrician to talk about Mara’s laundry list of concerns. To my surprise the doctor said he greatly suspected my son was autistic and he needed to go to a screening. Apparently there was a name for all of the things about him I loved. It absolutely blew my mind in how much it didn’t matter. Of course there were things we could do and learn to help nourish him, but Bailey was Bailey.
So we started reading and reading. I was shocked at how familiar some of the “tells” were. At one point I turned to my husband and said, “You know there is no way that you’re neuro-typical, right?” To which he simply said, “Yep.” I wouldn’t change a single thing about my husband. I wouldn’t change a thing about Bailey.
It really solidified that Mara would also just be Mara. She is so determined and so loving. Every day is a surprise and joy. Of course I would love to protect her from every struggle - but that is true of any mother. ❤️