*** Dealing With Toxic People *** *****Read on for a quick mindset tip ***** Do you have toxic people in your life? Perhaps it’s a friend, family member, work colleague or employee.
Do these people TRIGGER you?....... Do you find yourself getting HOOKED into rumination, frustration, unpleasant emotion..... you know.... that yucky gut feeling.... tight chest...... utter frustration burning you up... stopping you from sleeping!
Here’s the thing.... usually when we are TRIGGERED by someone else’s behaviour, words or actions it is because they are acting in a way that is incongruent with our VALUES.
This is a good way to actually become more attuned to your values.
Perhaps this person is acting unprofessional, rude, aggressive, disrespectful, running late, untidy, disorganised, unkind.... if this is triggering you it’s a good indication you have STRONG VALUES in this area.... Step 1: use it as a learning experience to explore and identify your values.... and then YOU ACT ALIGNED with your values ...... always..... don’t get dragged into being reactive, revengeful or behave poorly just because this person IS.... that’s their crap... not yours!
Step 2: Try switching your mindset from: “Why should I” “Why is this happening” “This is awful” “I wish it would go away” “I can’t do anything” “This always happens to me” “Bad things happen to me” “It will never work” “I will never be good at this” ...........etc!!!!!! To This:
I GET TO....... I get to learn how to deal with difficult people
I get to practice my assertive skills
I get to learn about my values
I get to problem solve
I get to learn how to sit with uncomfortable emotions
I get to always act aligned with my values
I get to understand what’s Important to me
I get to learn
I get to form new relationships, friendships
I get to grow
Fill in the blank
I get to.......
I get to.......
I get to....... Melissa Johnson
Thriving Minds Psychology Clinic