Hi. My name is Sarah and I have Time hop to thank me for the constant reminder of what my life used to be.
For years I struggled with anxiety. For the majority of time, I didn't even know what it was so I dealt with a racing heart, the ability to not focus and the feeling of breaking down at any point with the power of not being present. I would busy myself to the point I wouldnt ever have time to think. I would use mind altering substances to avoid being present.
Lately I have been reminded so much of this because of time hop. I had kids and things multiplied times one million. This is the time of year I finally admitted enough is enough. The memories come back and it reminds me that I waited until almost 30 years into my life to be open and honest with myself about my feelings and what was going on in my head. When I decided I was going to make this change, kick the prescription that basically left me blacked out and choose Joy everyday of my life, it was the best decision I could have ever made. It isnt easy and I have bad days but I have learned so many ways to cope and deal with these feelings that I rarely feel under attack anymore. So why do I share this? I know so many people who feel this same way. I see it, I hear it and I want you to know you're not alone. You dont have to feel like you have no control over your own thoughts and situations. Know that Im here for you and if you are ever struggling please tell me. Im happy to chat. I dont want anyone to ever have to feel like I did for so long.
So yes its Monday. Yes Im tired. Yes they are calling for more snow but today I choose Joy