This is a detail of “The Family of Henry VIII”, now in the Royal Collection Trust, housed at #hamptoncourt. It’s British School, executed c. 1545 and no doubt commissioned by #henryviii for his residence at Whitehall. It’s one of the most significant dynastic portraits of the #tudor period and it is notable for one thing common to many family portraits: everyone absofuckinglutely hates each other. Enthroned beneath his canopy of State, sporting a snazzy tunic of gold cloth, is Henry VIII. Fat, brutal, misogynistic Henry is accompanied by his third wife, #janeseymour, and their son Prince Edward, who’s roughly 8 in this painting. Now Henry actually loved Jane because she bore him a son; a son whose birth killed her. She’s thus the only one of Henry’s wives to have a Queen’s funeral and the only one that was buried with him at Windsor Castle. She’d been dead for several years when this portrait was made (and Henry was already on wifey number 6 by c. 1545, having divorced Cleves, beheaded Howard and was then married to Parr). Edward became King when his dad died in 1547, but he died of tuberculosis aged just 15. Thus the throne was empty and this is where all the hate really kicks in. On the far left is Princess Mary, who became #maryi after Edward died. She hated her little brother because he was a Protestant and he wanted Lady Jane Grey to be Queen. Mary was Catholic, like her mother, Henry’s first wife, #catherineofaragon, who Henry acrimoniously divorced in 1533. To the far right is Princess Elizabeth, half sister of Mary and Edward. Mary and Henry hated Elizabeth because of her mother - #anneboleyn. Mary, because Anne replaced her mother, Catherine, as Queen. Henry, because he was obsessed with Anne but had to chop her head off when he found out she allegedly shagged her brother in a vainglorious attempt to give Henry a son. “Bloody Mary” died in 1558 and #elizabethi - single and childless - became Queen, ruling for nearly 45 years; the last Tudor monarch. And, like Nigel Farage, Liz hated fucking everyone east of Kent and north of Watford. And there you are. The big daddy of the hateful Tudors, King Henry VIII, was born today in 1491.