#grievingparent

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TOP POSTS

Everyday is a battle ground but I survived. Echuuuse me... Heerrrrrooooo... Yaaaaaaassssss.
#motherofanangel #Joansmum #stillamum
#grievingmum #grievingparent

Ground is FINALLY thawed to place.... β€πŸ˜πŸ’‹πŸ‘ΌπŸΌ #GrievingParent #Memorial #infantlossawareness #IAmOneInFour

As I recall the final days and moments leading up to the last with Will, I am overwhelmed with a mix of emotions... I remember July 19th 2009, a day we spent at Young's dairy with family, (cousins meeting for the very first time). Laughter, love and lots of pictures.πŸ™ŒπŸ» Priceless. β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’
I chose this song {Homesick} to print in Will's memorial program because it perfectly portrayed how I was feeling... I think a part of me will always be 'Homesick', in my opinion, anyone who knows Christ is probably a little Homesick, especially in this quickly deteriorating world. Thank God that this world is only our temporary home.! It doesn't take a tragedy to develop that yearning for Heaven. Though this song has a sadness to it, it also has Hope intertwined. That doesn't mean I don't have heart wrenching days, I'm not excluded from pain and I don't want to be, my humanity is my best offering to all of you.
Clinging to this truth today as I remember my sweet boy and that fun-filled day....... 🎢In Christ there are no good-bye's and in Christ there is no end.. So i hold on to Jesus with all that I have to see you again..🎢
Its a perfect illustration to this grief journey. bittersweet. emotional. Homesick. Hopeβ€’filled. temporary. πŸ’•πŸ™Œ {I shared this video last year too, but remade it to be longer now that IG plays longer videos!} #homesick #mamagrief #grievewithHope #grievingparent #iWILLseeyouagain @sfuderer πŸ’“

The Hanalei Canoe Club and its members consistently come through for 'Ohana Oasis in so many ways.

Download you copy a of The Grievers Manifesto. Put your name on it customize it to make it your own. We didn't ask to be part of this group of people who grieve the loss of a loved one. However this is the life that we have been given. We must learn to live this new life that we have been given even if we don't like it. To gain clarity in your life. Be part of this community make new friends of people that understand you.
CLICK THE LINK TO DOWNLOAD http://thegrieversmanifesto.gr8.com/
htpp://youtu.be/cXGnVJNe9ak
#grief #grievingparent #childloss #hope #livingbeyondgrief

How to flourish after loss (2)

When your child dies, it's as if they disappeared into thin air. It sure takes a lot of effort to feel them because we are such physical beings and what we can't touch or see, we sometimes don't believe. Try to include them in your daily life. I think it is very important to mention the loved ones name daily. As a family we say Ollies name every time we pray, we talk about him often and we tell our children stories about him. Our other children know their older brother. Poppy even prays that Ollie will visit her!
1-Saying your loved ones name will help to bring them closer
2-Help them seem like a part of the family, because they still are.
3-By saying their name it allows their spirit to engulf your body and be a part of you
4-and also it will help their memory stay alive in your life!

I believe when someone dies, they are truly more alive than ever before, no pain, no sorrow and no heartache. We will all one day die and continue on our journey into eternity and beyond!

Ollie Kai Hebb, you are alive, you are thriving and you are present in our daily life! We love you. β€οΈπŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œ

Guilt. It's a common feeling for everyone, and even more so when you've lost a dear loved one. It's easy to review your time with him/her and second guess decisions, words, missed moments. The list goes on....And guilt can paralyze you, leaving you stuck and feeling trapped in your thoughts of having done something "wrong". It's hard to let go because it feels like a sort of penance to carry around the guilt.
But take a moment to sink into that guilt and what do you feel? Do you feel trapped? Do you feel bad about yourself? Maybe unable to move forward in positive ways? Can you live in a way that honors your child when you're mired in these feelings, emotion and place?...want to read more? Check out the whole post at: heidilow06.wixsite.com/heidilow

June is Sands awareness month. An amazing charity who help grieving familys after the loss of aa baby day in & day out.
Did you know 15 babies a day die in the uk? 😒 15 too many πŸ’” πŸ’™LiamπŸ’™ #sandsawarenessmonth #15babiesaday #babyloss #babylossawareness #grievingparent #mummyofanangel

Today is May 1st. The start of a month, which for me, I always thought would be a happy one. While there will be moments that we will celebrate, it will also be filled with another four weeks of complicated emotions and heartbreaking sadness.
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This coming Sunday I will honor other mothers, who like me, have lost their child or children through SIDS, infant loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic, termination or other ways. May 7 is International Bereaved Mother's Day. The following Sunday is Mother's Day and May 27 is Toby's first birthday.
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Eight months ago, against every ounce of being in me, I became a member of a new mothers group. One none of us want to be in, because of the unexplainable pain that we carry daily, but one that we are now a part of, because our children died too soon. As each month has passed I've met or introduced myself into as many bereavement communities that would take me and talked openly about Toby's story to anyone that would listen.
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People are listening and doors our opening. They are being opened, I believe, by Toby and his angels in Heaven. They are being opened because Toby knows that the only way for us to be able to take another step is by him holding our hearts and directing our path. Putting people on our road that can help, want to help, and have something to offer, even if they never got to meet or hold our baby boy.
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Grieving the loss of a child. This is a topic that needs a voice. As a society, we need to acknowledge the tragedy that happens when parents, siblings, extended family, lose a child. The way that society historically has dealt with infant loss is to push us to move on, not grieve, be still, forget.
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Show me one mother that has forgotten her child.
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Toby will never be forgotten. He will live on through our lives and the lives of those we are fortunate enough to assist. He will live on through the doors that he helps us to open and the doors that he helps us to close. He is our compass.
.Grief. Traumatic loss. It can not be suppressed. It must be talked about. Openly. It must be confronted. Head on. It must be embraced. Not just by the loss community. But by those who support us.
Cont'd below....

MOST RECENT

The Hanalei Canoe Club and its members consistently come through for 'Ohana Oasis in so many ways.

Honoring your loved one is a key to living your life with joy and purpose. Carrying guilt for the past in your present isn't a constructive way to do this. Are you subconsciously choosing to hold on to the guilt as a way of paying a debt you think you owe? Ready to shed the guilt, get on a complimentary one-one call with me.

Your world feels like it's all came crumbling down around you. This is how it feels when you lose someone dear to you. Now what? Does life even really need to go on? This lack of motivation and desire to embrace life is understandable and normal. And there is way to rediscovering drive, hope and building an even more full life than you thought possible. When you give yourself the space, patience, and permission to feel ALL the feelings and take small baby steps towards something bigger than yourself you will wake up one day realizing you're full of joy and gratitude that you ARE living. Ready to take a baby step? Schedule a complimentary call with me at: https://heidilow.youcanbook.me/

Top Recent Read: Learning to Love Yourself, by Gay Hendricks PhD
Another good read by Hendricks. As I devoured this book I realized he put into eloquent words so many of the concepts I've applied and urge others to apply in their road to healing. Hendricks also introduced new (to me) strategies and truths to the necessity of and how to loving yourself. To find all my Recent Reads and blog go to: https://heidilow06.wixsite.com/heidilow/top10

When the storm is swirling around you, the thunder rattles the windows and the rain dumps down it's easy to forget the sun is still behind the clouds. Grief, sadness, and pain can feel the same way. And yet, there is still joy behind those clouds. When you can find within yourself the gratitude, the peace, and the ability to honor your loved one the clouds begin to recede. Click here for a 10 week blueprint of strategies to find that peace and way to honor your loved one. https://heidilow06.wixsite.com/blueprint

It doesn't feel fair. It isn't fair. You lost someone you love much too soon. It's easy to skate on the edge of bitterness because of the unfairness. There's an opportunity to see and feel this loss in a different way. Feel the grief, the pain, the sadness, the outrage, AND the gratitude. When you can allow gratitude for what you do have...including the time and relationship you've lost things in your life begin to shift and light starts streaming in. Ready to get regular encouragement and support in this journey through grief and joy? Follow my blog at: https://heidilow06.wixsite.com/heidilow

When the storm is swirling around you, the thunder rattles the windows and the rain dumps down it's easy to forget that the sun is still around behind the clouds. The grief, sadness and pain can feel the same way. And yet, there is still joy behind their clouds. When you can find the gratitude, the peace and ability to honor your loved one within yourself the clouds begin to recede. Click here for a 10 week series of strategies to find that peace and way to honor your loved one. http://ow.ly/7hA230dy6i

Is it hard to explain how you feel, or you feel like no one really gets you and your grief? You're ready to feel comfortable in your own skin and your own process. Allow yourself to be who you really are, to feel what you really feel. Give yourself room to let freak flag fly. Looking for strategies to get there, schedule a call with me.

Guilt. It's a common feeling for everyone, and even more so when you've lost a dear loved one. It's easy to review your time with him/her and second guess decisions, words, missed moments. The list goes on....And guilt can paralyze you, leaving you stuck and feeling trapped in your thoughts of having done something "wrong". It's hard to let go because it feels like a sort of penance to carry around the guilt.
But take a moment to sink into that guilt and what do you feel? Do you feel trapped? Do you feel bad about yourself? Maybe unable to move forward in positive ways? Can you live in a way that honors your child when you're mired in these feelings, emotion and place?...want to read more? Check out the whole post at: heidilow06.wixsite.com/heidilow

Dates from #2012 are imprinted in my mind...not very nice dates either πŸ˜” 5 years ago today we was told Rileys #chemotherapy hadn't worked and the cancer had spread we was told we had a time scale we had left with the happiest most beautiful boy and it was devastating...Not a day goes by I don't think about him as much as I smile and go on everyday like I'm good it always isn't.Being a #grievingparent is the hardest thing especially when you have other children to think about and look after but 5 years on I feel I'm doing pretty ok and am blessed to have 4 gorgeous girls that I'm super proud of 🌸 Just look at his smile in those photos though 😍 #smileyriley #beautifulboy #myangel #myreallifesleepingbeauty #cancersucks #cancersawareness #dontbefooledbythesmile

You feel like crap some days, so crappy in fact you can't really seriously consider doing anything to get to a happy place. Chances are fear is stopping you. There is a way to get back to a happy place. The one thing stronger than fear is hope. When you take small baby steps and start to see something bigger than your pain, a way of using your pain to help others you have hope. Looking for help to take those baby steps, book a complimentary call with me here: http://ow.ly/USj330dy8tB

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Like even though you are doing your best to do the hard work of grappling with your grief you need a life ring thrown to you as you swim in the pool of pain?
Grief work is hard, exhausting, and often lonely. It can feel like you're treading water and not actually getting anywhere even while your body is tired and worn out from all the action. It involves so many aspect of ourselves, our lives, and emotions we sometimes fear. In order to live the rest of our lives in a whole hearted way we have to do the work, and sometimes it becomes overwhelming.

So here's the deal...along with the work, it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to include hope and rest in the equation. Yes, work your ass off to embrace the pain, travel through the anger, the fear, the unknown and everything else. AND make sure you also have hope and rest....Does this resonate? This is part of a Heidi's Huddle message (my regular email) from last week. You can subscribe here: http://eepurl.com/cMcDF9

Mahalo nui loa to Dan of http://www.ameripriseadvisors.com/daniel.j.ruediger for his generosity in supporting 'Ohana Oasis!

Despair, frustration, and loneliness can be familiar emotions when in grief. And positive can come from them...When we can view our struggles and challenges as an opportunity to grow, we can discover within ourselves the ability to live in peace and walk in purpose. For a regular message in your inbox you can subscribe here: http://ow.ly/5qVx30dy7gY

This is it! The official kick off of Giving for Joy! We are exactly 4 months away. You can purchase tickets now at: https://heidilow.lpages.co/givingforjoy/. Enjoy dinner and drinks as well as a jumpstart on the season of gift giving when you purchase silent and live auction items with a purpose.

You've been blessed and want to give back, making it possible for our long waiting list of 130+ parents to access the healing.
If you can't come, you can help in other ways like spreading the word, donating auction items, or sponsoring the event. PM me and let's talk!

You've been doing so well and then something triggers you. It can often feel like you take two steps forward and one step back when walking through grief. There is a way of shedding the discouragement when you see this dance differently. Let's talk about how this can change for you. Click here to scheduled a complimentary call with me: https://Heidilow.youcanbookme.me/

"The generosity of those who donated their time, talents, and services was ASTOUNDING. Every day we were surprised. Every details was thought of, every need provided for and we didn't have to spend a dime if we didn't want to." - Vienne's Mom

Where are you most scared to walk into you? What feelings do you avoid the most? What if you could be free of the things and feelings you fear? Light is on the other side of them. The other side is what we most crave. Take the leap or even just a small baby step, but make the move and start to release the fear and see the light. For tools to help you get there, check out this blueprint for Navigating Grief and Joy.http://ow.ly/4ZBS30dieQL

All of you parents on the 'Ohana Oasis waiting list, we know how helpful it is for you to find your tribe. To be able to connect with other bereaved parents. So head on over to our Facebook group Connecting Grieving Parents: http://ow.ly/YNOA30dikj0

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