#griefwork

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The most heart wrenching part of my job is when a client (for lack of a better word because my clients become such sweet friends) contacts me and are looking for photos from their recent wedding of someone close to them who just passed away. It reminds me of how important photography is, and the responsibility I carry into each shoot and event that I capture. As I'm going through images this weekend I am holding the weight of knowing that these were quite possibly the last photos that were taken of that person.
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Life is so very short and even though I was aware that I was losing her, and I photographed her often, I will never feel like have enough photos of my mom.
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This is your reminder-- to take more photos, to be in more photos, and mostly to appreciate the beauty in all the tiny little moments with the people who love you. To all of us who are clutching onto photos of our mothers instead of their hands this weekend, I'm sending you the biggest hug in solidarity ever. #griefwork #mothersdayweekend

Dreamed of my dad last night and woke to the shock of being alone. Like an egg off the boil, plunged into an ice bath, my insides contracting away from the surface. Pale and raw and not at all ready to rise. Moving into this spring has felt so heavy and ominous, the promise of change imminent and not inviting. Trying to flip the perspective and be grateful for the process itself, the shedding of the shell, the deepening of the gold inside.

Co-facilitating grief workshops this weekend with @kemeticyogini has me feeling grateful for the challenge to take inventory again of my own emotional landscape, and to practice being with and sharing what I may have learned, and what others can teach me about death, relationship transitions, leaving/finding home. And I love consulting the maps my favorite writers have made of this collective terrain: "...we are connected to the Divine through our connections with each other. Yet, no one comes into consciousness alone, in isolation, only for herself, or passively...The fact of the matter is that there is no other work but the work of creating and re-creating ourselves within the context of community. Simply put, there is no other work. It took five hundred years, at least in this hemisphere, to solidify the division of things that belong together. But it need not take us another five hundred years to move ourselves out of this existential impasse." - M. Jacqui Alexander #griefwork #meandmyshadow #beyourownmedicine

I have almost gotten through the first year after Millie's death. I am still adjusting but getting closer to integrating this new reality without her. Sometimes I feel a wave of sadness and think I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without her. Other times I can just nod affectionately to my memories without feeling pulled apart by them. This picture was taken two years ago today. It's the picture my tattoo is based on. 🐶❤️🌈 #angelmillietzu #shihtzusofinstagram #oneeyeddog #memories #griefwork

the very first time I used my new mortar and pestle
it was to consecrate a candle in frankincense & myrrh resin in a blend of oils
because Deidre is an ancestor now, a spirit now

and I wanted her to feel honored
and return home
#candlemagick #griefwork #latergram

Dear Theodore Brave,
Son. Your mama and daddy love you fiercely. We are undone by all the miraculous things you can do. We are proud of you and deeply in love with who you are. You are our boy. We get to watch you grow up! Somedays, I still feel like you will be taken away from me. I lived with that fear and heaviness for so long with your sissy. It's hard to shake it. But then, I am reminded of the truth and your strength and the fact that you are free from SMA. I don't have to worry about you choking in bed at night or struggling to breath. So, I let you run free. You get bumps and bruises as you explore, but I know you will be fine.
Your sissy lived for 3 years in a body that was failing her. Every day of her life was a miracle! She was tough and brave and tender hearted. And oh. My boy. You are just the same.
You carry her with you. In your heart and veins and at the corners of your eyes when you smile. She taught us all to be brave. But Teddy...so did you. So did you, my miracle boy.

Sobonfu Some' ...powerful Healer and Mother Guardian Spirit has transitioned and is now an Ancestor...may she rest in Peace and Power🙏🏾 #sobonfusome #ancestor #healer #griefwork #indigenousspirituality

My morning devotion came from an old Bible I've had since I was a young girl. "I'm convinced that God has built into all of us, in varying degrees, the capacity for an appreciation of beauty, and has even allowed us the privilege of participating in the creation of beautiful things and beautiful places. I think it may be one way God brings healing to our brokenness, and a way that we can contribute toward bringing wholeness to our fallen world.” -Mary Jane Worden

#courage #beautyinashes #griefwork #wordfortoday

MOST RECENT

Coconut Vanilla Black Tea infused with conversations of grief, healing, decolonization, spirit and healing with @thabrownlantern Visioning an exchange in NYC. #philippines #pilipinoamerican #seattle #migrantworkers #ancestorswithus #ancestorswithme #ancestorswithourpeople #ancestralknowledge #ancestralenergy #philippines #griefwork #teainfusion

Artifacts from the recent @Abraham.in.motion performance of Dearest Home. I saw it twice. The show is intended to be performed and watched in silence, but there is optional music that can be listened to thru individual headsets. Watching the company explore themes of love, loss, and longing in a silent theater was entrancing. It reminded me of Kevin Quashie's work on "quiet" and Black resistance: "The quiet subject finds agency in the capacity to surrender to his or her inner life. If there is a fearlessness in this surrender it is because of the freedom of falling into what cannot be known entirely, as well as falling into all that one is." @kyleabrahammt #dearesthome #blackpeoplemagic #kevinquashie #griefwork

Many of us have been slow to recognize the value of expressing the full force of anguish and despair. .
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We may think displays of strong emotions are somehow unseemly.
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Grief is not a test.  There's no grading.  No passing or failing.  But if our tendency is to clamp down on our feelings because we think it's better for us or less disturbing to others, we might try going somewhere we're not likely to be heard-and let it out. .
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Scream.  Yell.  Berate.  Wail.  Pound on the wall.
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Some hospitals have "screaming rooms"-places where the newly bereaved can go and scream and rail without fear of disturbing others and/or embarrassing themselves. .
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Not a pretty sight or sound?  A human sound.

#grief #griefwork #griefhurts #griefisreal #griefishard #griefsupport #griefsupport #griefandloss #griefjourney #scream #yell #berate #wail

#transformationtuesday
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My baby girl asked if she was in my tummy in the picture on the left. I laughed and said no baby, you were 2 years old, 2 months from the BIG 3.
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So that was not her. That was 2 almost 3 years of a wife, mom of 2 who thought she could bounce back without doing anything different.
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Then I became a widow with 2 little ones and ran from my grief journey as hard as I could through sleeping all the time, staying busy, and eating all the comfort foods anytime of the day or night like 2 or 3am.
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I had to make a change and I did. I had to get my Fight Back and this was my avenue.I have watched my transformation and am sometimes surprised at the changes I see.
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All because I decided to invest in a fitness program, knowing that if "it" didn't work, I could get my $$$ back in 30 days. I was only losing Shipping and Handling lol.
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It changed my life! I am in Fight Mode. Getting My Fight Back through Fitness and Food.

#transformationtuesday #coachlife❤️ #piyo #cize #21dayfixextreme #22minutehardcorps #FocusT25 #notababyinthere #fighting4me #fightingwithfitness #fightingforahealthierme #fighting #workout #work #griefwork #singlelifework

The S in the T.E.A.R.S MODEL stands for
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Sobbing
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The bible tell us, “Be afflicted and mourn and weep”.[iv] There is healing power in allowing our tears to flow for the loss in our lives. .
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As Washington Irving once said, “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness—but of power. .
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They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of over-whelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” #griefwork #griefhurts #griefishard #griefisreal #griefjourney #griefandloss #griefawareness #griefsupport #griefprocess #cry #sob #mourn

What does the R stands for in the T.E.A.R.S MODEL:

Recording emotions

Creative expression and/or recording one’s emotions & experiences through writing or journaling can help release emotions and free the body and soul of them. .
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When we write the things we have seen, heard and feel, we are better able to gain insight and understanding, .
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for it allows us to capture and revisit our experiences, ensuring we do not miss the important lessons being taught.

#griefwork #griefisreal #griefhurts #griefishard #griefsupport #griefawareness #griefjourney #griefandloss #healingtools

Applying self-reiki to my heart to assist with my grief so it continues to flow and not stay stuck in my heart! #selfcare #selfreiki #mariposasholistichealing #griefwork #selflove #natureheals

The A in the T.E.A.R.S Model stands for:

Artistic Expression .
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For many of us, grief is best expressed creatively—through art, music, dance, and so forth. .
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Tapping our creative outlets allows us to process the emotions of grief in a subconscious way that can be powerful and deep. Creativity is particularly valuable for children who are grieving. .
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Encouraging children to express feelings through drawing pictures, creating a collage of photos and written memories, or other creative activities can be a powerful tool for healing.

#grief #griefwork #griefishard #griefisreal #griefhurts #griefawareness #griefandloss #griefjourney #griefsupport #artisticexpression #healingtools

Having a quiet day today. Running errands, buying groceries, seeing friends, some real me time and headspace 💚 #loveyourselffirst #griefwork

Tree Fresno is looking for volunteers for its Tree Tribute Program. Orientation is Saturday. May 26, 12-1pm.

If you're interested in attending, see flyer for details on how to register with Brianna at Tree Fresno. 🌳 If you know of someone who might enjoy being a tree ambassador, please #tellafriend and #spreadthelove 💚

If you have never been to Tree Fresno, you might consider bringing a picnic lunch to afterwards enjoy under a shady tree.
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#california #conservation #stewardship #sanjoaquinvalley #fresno #fresnolife #treefresno #sanjoaquingreen #volunteer #calltoaction #tribute #team #stewards #naturelovers #treelove #bethelove #lovewins #griefwork #gogreen

You know what that E stands for in The T.E.A.R.S?? As much As I wanted it to stand for EAT.. it does not!!
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The E stands for
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EXERCISE!!!!!!!
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Physical activity can be a powerful aid in the release of the difficult emotions that accompany loss. .
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Adults and children will find that exercise “allows for a reduction of aggressive feelings, a release of tension and anxiety and a relief of depression”[iii] related to grief.

#talking #exercise #healingtools #grief #griefwork #griefhurts #griefishard #griefsupport #griefandloss #griefawareness #griefjourney #gettingmyfightback #throughfitnessandnutrition

TALKING

While it is natural to want to isolate oneself during the intense pain of loss, most will find healing in talking or even just being with family, friends or other support people, sharing the burden of grief and knowing they are not alone.

#grief #griefwork #griefhurts #griefisreal #griefishard #griefsupport #griefandloss #griefawareness #griefjourney #griefprocess #talking

My brother's dear heart, my sister in law, our sweet and remarkable Whitney. This gal is a powerhouse. Thanks for being here and sharing your experiences of loss and life, keeping things moving, flying me back and forth (miracles!!!) and having us laughing. True hearts through darkness and light. I bestow upon you the Congressional Medal of Honor... or in lieu of that, this Instagram post. ❤️ @miss.whitney.allen .
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#sisterhood #loss #familylove #precioustime #timeoutoftime #strongwomen #griefwork

The most common question I hear in my work with the bereaved is, “How do I grieve?” .
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Though grief is common and all of us will experience it at some point or another, knowing how to deal with grief can be challenging. .
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Many of us fight the emotions of grief, doing whatever it takes to “just be fine again,” even if we’re not. .
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Others of us distract ourselves from our feelings by keeping busy or escaping into activities. .
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And some of us simply ignore the emotions of grief, pretending that everything is “OK”. So, when someone asks, “How do I grieve?” my counsel is simple: “You have to let yourself grieve.” Usually they reply, “But how do I do that?” And I say, “You just do.” .
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Grief Work
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The “just doing” I am referring to is better known as grief work, or mourning. It is letting oneself go through the emotions and process of grief, for through is the only way out.

#grief #griefwork #griefisreal #griefhurts #griefsupport #griefawareness #griefandloss

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