When this photo was taken I felt more at home in my mind and body than I have in months. But when I first saw this photo I felt extremely self conscious about the size of my body. Mainly my arms. They look larger than they've ever been even though I'm weaker than I've ever been. Maybe it's a trick of the light or the angle, maybe it's a trick of the self conscious mind. But I do know that my body is changing in ways that I love. Yes it will be larger but that does not mean it will be stronger. Upon further inspection from a healthier mental place I see that it is also softer, less defined. I'm constantly learning to adapt with the new ways that it moves as muscle is replaced by fat. And as my body grows so does my mind. As hard as it is I'm learning to love and accept myself, with less importance placed on whether others accept me. As I do this I may step on some toes, some that will hurt if they become burned bridges but I will become a more genuine version of myself, and whoever wants to stick around for that will hold a more valued place in my life than I can currently offer.
It's only fitting that the photographer who took this photo has been a large part of my journey to self acceptance. Thanks @tjl_photo for all of the love, support, and beautiful pictures.
#bmx #bmxgirl #girlbmx