This is Bear. He is my third kid. He is 14 month old. We drove out to the river yesterday and he was whining in the car because he was tired. I felt a little bad about not staying home for his nap but I knew he'd be ok if we were playing. We got him out of the car and he ran straight for the water...giggling. He giggled at just the sight of the water. He was incredibly happy all afternoon. He didn't want to be held. He wanted to run and play. He didn't want to sit in a baby floaty. He wanted to jump and splash in the water. He wanted to eat crackers and drink my coffee. (I tried to stop the coffee thing. He's sneaky. 😂) I love this baby. But I'll tell you something. I was devastated when I found out I was pregnant with him. I wasn't ready. I was overwhelmed already. I couldn't handle one more thing. I had plans. I cried. I told my husband through text a couple days after I found out beyond couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. I had first panic attack. Because of the plans we had already made, my husband was out of state and away from us for the set half of the pregnancy. (He was back for the delivery.) And because we had already made plans, we moved from Oregon to Wyoming when he was 5 days old.
But. Life doesn't always go as we plan. Life isn't going to slow down for you. Life isn't always about perfect timing. It's about making life great in the midst of everything that you don't have control of. You have control over your attitude, your relationships, your heart, your decisions. I wouldn't trade how things went for something easier. And I would do it all again to get this kid.