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#fucksuicide

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RIP brother Derek 😪@derek.barbas #fucksuicide #fuckdepression #fuckanxiety
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The world lost another great human to suicide.
Depression is indescribable untill YOU have to go through/survive it. It shreds your soul and makes you feel like the world is not a place you want to be. This is a reality check for me. An uncomfortably close exposure to how immense and easily effected we all can be. Not only by witnessing tragedies like this, but dealing with the demons of depression. I know im not alone when i share this. I know there are many of you suffering, maybe not often, maybe everyday. I personally wrestle with it, and i want to urge you to seek help, talk to someone, you can even call ME if you need someone to relate to! Seriously! Anytime! .
Derek was a very kind and loving person, his calm energy and true sincerity was a rare trait in this day and age. He was a warrior of the ocean and should have never died by his own hand. This is fucking crazy, im numb with emotion and frustration. He was my friend, a brother of the ocean. I met him less than a year ago and from the first day he was just an easy going great guy that had an energy that was very humble and genuine. He always had a laugh and a smile to share, along with an espresso from @coffee_coffee_leucadia and a bar of wax from @surfysurfy where he worked nearly simultaneously... and did I mention he was a stud! Yeah, he chased big waves all over the world in his spare time... stud. We love you and we miss derek! 😎 #suicideprevention

You'd never guess, but I was a late bloomer when it came to listening to music as a kid. I remember Linkin Park being one of the first bands I ever got heavily into. I used to listen to Meteora nonstop from top to bottom, and this was right around when I first started drumming so you know I was playing along to those tracks every day. R.I.P. Chester, thank you for leaving an imprint on my musical soul. #linkinpark #chesterbennington #fucksuicide

R.I.P. Quincy #fucksuicide

Chester 2 Months ago today you received your Angel Wings 😇🕊#WBW ⭐️CELEBRATION OF LIFE⭐️ 🙏🏾🎈DTLA/Grand Park 2,000 Fans •SUICIDE PREVENTION AWARENESS MONTH• #ChesterCharlesBenningtonMemorial#ChesterYouAreMissed#RestInParadise#GreatStoryTelling#FanTestimony#LiveMusicInThePark#MusicIsLife#ChesterYourMusicLivesOn#FuckSuicide @bsidez316 *This song pulls at My Heart strings❤️😢 August 6, 2017 #AFamilyAffair🌹🌹🌹*So glad we were apart of this

Today would have been this guys 31st birthday❤not a day goes by that I don't wish things had been different. 💔#mybrother #lostsibling #fucksuicide #fuckaddiction #countingonseeingyouagainsomeday

Repost because #fucksuicide

Jonathan Davis (fuck suicide) shirts at @gomerchful @officialjonathandavis #fucksuicide #jonathandavis

- Random Thoughts
As a kid I feared the lightning and thunder, anything that made me feel small. As a Marine I feared enemy fire, mortars and IEDs, imminent danger leaving me helpless. As a veteran I fear the calm of a mundane life. The quiet corners of my mind that are exposed when fight or flight is switched to safe. Constantly searching for new ways to engage the enemy within. Don't stop fighting. #fucksuicide

Roads Untraveled de @linkinpark
La primera vez que escuche esta canción fue en Need For Speed e inmediatamente uno se da cuenta de que es Linkin Park
Acá @fifialfaro16 y yo cantamos la parte que Chester cantaba
#ripchester #linkinpark #fucksuicide

MOST RECENT

Welp. My already stressed and anxious mind that has been ridiculous since Monday with the announcement of this show has just sky rocketed through the roof. Added stress of getting a ticket all the more because #JonathanDavis @officialjonathandavis of #KoRn @Korn_official will be one of the guests. As a lot know I ALWAYS need to be as close to the stage as possible for any show. But at this point I'm accepting that won't be possible and simply just want and need to be there period. Please ticket gods grant me access!! 🙏🙏🙏 #LinkinPark #RIPChester #RIPChesterBennington #ChesterBe #ChazyChaz #WeMissYou #IMissYou #DepressionSucks #FuckDepression #AnxietySucks #FuckSuicide

- Random Thoughts
As a kid I feared the lightning and thunder, anything that made me feel small. As a Marine I feared enemy fire, mortars and IEDs, imminent danger leaving me helpless. As a veteran I fear the calm of a mundane life. The quiet corners of my mind that are exposed when fight or flight is switched to safe. Constantly searching for new ways to engage the enemy within. Don't stop fighting. #fucksuicide

Today was the first time I went back to timaru since the passing of one of my very best friends .💋
It's been just over 2 years and it's still so fresh in my heart . Today was hard but so worth it . I Miss her so much ❤️. .
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#hardtimes #emotional #suicide #suicideawareness #fucksuicide #imissher #likecrazy #mygirl #heartofgold #beautifulsoul #gonetoosoon #friendshipisforever #love

Today is rough. Three years ago exactly, I was sitting on my living room floor between @modified_evolution's knees while he rubbed my back as I coughed and puked my guts up. I had been so sick I had missed an entire week of work and I was still horribly sick. Suddenly, our Tarot started to act funny. Ears back, tail up, fur standing on end. She kept reacting to something we could not see. That same night, in the house we grew up in, my baby brother became a victim to his depression and took his own life. Nobody knew. Nobody knew for three more days. So, while his date of death is listed as the 23rd, I know it is actually the 20th. And I know that's why Tarot began acting strange that night. I was being cuddled and loved while my brother was feeling like he was all alone in this world and unloveable. Because that's one of the big things that depression does. It's one of the ways our brains play tricks on us. I think about that a lot. I was being loved, when he felt like he wasn't loved. That's a kick in the stomach. The periods of grief have gotten the furthest apart they've ever been, and they are certainly easier to manage now, as well. So, leading up to this week I had naively hoped it wouldn't hurt as much as it has the past two years. They say time heals all wounds. That's wrong. Some wounds can never heal, and some wounds are so severe they can't even grow scar tissue. They remain open. And they remain painful. I was so naive...because when I got to work this morning and did the head to toe assessment on the beautiful little child who is my patient, I wrote the date on my paperwork and froze. I couldn't breathe. But. I had a living, breathing, child who needed me all day...so, I did what needed to be done and put my Nurse Face on. I will put it on again on the 23rd when I go into work. It is all I can do. Life goes on. It hurts. It sucks. It cannot be changed or reversed. So it goes. Indeed, so it goes. #fucksuicide

R.I.P can't believe it has been two yrs already. I remba that drawing you did for all us. #fucksuicide #riphomie #bygballah #laredotejas

You will always remain my favorite memory. Missing you never gets easier. 💛
#happybday #fucksuicide #iloveyou

The black dog was snarling right in my face today, to be honest I'm not proud of this artwork , but I am proud of the fact that I completed it despite the inner demons trying to overwhelm me. It may not be a good picture, but it is a middle finger to demons . Robin Williams is up there in people who inspire me, I cried drawing this to know of the anguish he suffered . Good mental health resources are something I'm passionate about . If anything I hope that by sharing this someone struggling today will feel better to know they are not alone x x x x I believe you can get though this x x x x #innerdemons #struggle #recovery #keeppushingforward💯 #positivity #robinwilliams #mentalhealthawareness #bekind #selfloathing #suicideawareness #understanding#anguish #tearsofaclown #comedyking #rip#goodmorningvietnam #suicideprevention #suicideawareness#inkyinkystabstab #penandink #portrait

Chester 2 Months ago today you received your Angel Wings 😇🕊#WBW ⭐️CELEBRATION OF LIFE⭐️ 🙏🏾🎈DTLA/Grand Park 2,000 Fans •SUICIDE PREVENTION AWARENESS MONTH• #ChesterCharlesBenningtonMemorial#ChesterYouAreMissed#RestInParadise#GreatStoryTelling#FanTestimony#LiveMusicInThePark#MusicIsLife#ChesterYourMusicLivesOn#FuckSuicide @bsidez316 *This song pulls at My Heart strings❤️😢 August 6, 2017 #AFamilyAffair🌹🌹🌹*So glad we were apart of this

9/20/10- worst day EVER. 9/20/17- SEVEN years missin you dad, forever to go. 😭❤️🙏🏽 #fucksuicide

You would think 5 years later I'd know well enough to stay off my phone for the week. Things of this nature anyway. Nope!!! I was 8 months pregnant with Jocelyn and wanted fair food. Frank came and got us... It was supposed to be a good thing. A recharge. Not days later having your phone blown up that your father died by suicide, like the universe knew we were here because had I been in Jersey and alone... I just don't know. There's things time can't erase, conversations that just replay despite your effort to forget. You will never forget, the pain never goes away. You just get better at understanding and trying not to let it take you down. I've walked through that room 50 times a day for the last 2 years and I just can't anymore. I wanted to make this right for him, to save our family home but it pulls me under and I start forgetting how to swim and have to snap out of it. This was his dream, his weight to bare and if I could go back and tell him just one thing, I would tell him a mass of bricks, wood, and concrete don't even come close to competing with him, that I need him, we needed him, that heart and love make a home not the structure itself!!! My great grandparents built this house and raised 13 children here, my grandmother included and he could not bring himself to move on. All of my heart forgives him, even when anger runs through my blood. It's really just to mask the hurt... like how could you even think for a split second, long enough to pull the trigger that we'd be better off without you. That's what depression does. It steals all the love and whispers evil lies and after 13 years and so much pain his soul was tired. I didn't know. We didn't know. He promised he would never do this again. And you carry that guilt with you in a wagon every single day until you learn to give it back. However that is what makes suicide loss so unique. We all know this, we will listen to you tell us how it's not our fault. Much like depression though it whispers "what if" and you have to fight not to sink. The minute you read or see someone else endure your personal hell it starts all over again and there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. #fucksuicide

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