I know we often say to never look back, that’s not where we’re heading. I can’t help but believe that to be true, also knowing that a contradicting truth can be said as well..
Look back at where you once were, the battles you faced, the challenges you overcame, even the defeats that knocked you down—look back with the wisdom you did not have then. Look back at the strength and character you have developed, as hardships often push us forward into uncomfortable spaces to face ourselves. Look back with immense gratitude: for the learning, for the self-improvement, for the appreciation that no matter how often we fail, mess up, run, and hide from the hardest lessons, we will eventually conquer our own roadblocks and resistance. We will climb that mountain of doubt because of sheer determination to do so.
Living in the present moment is a beautiful way of living, as is reflecting on how we got here. To never lose sight of the monsters, ghosts, and darkness that we all have within. Our stories may look different, we may have taken different paths, and we may see things differently—and that is ok. Knowing where I once was, and how far I have come only deepens my compassion for all. Those who are currently battling demons, those who are complacent and stagnant, those who have closed off their hearts and souls to their highest potential. It doesn’t matter where you are at, it matters that you are here.
Where I am today, who I am today, is so very different from 2 years ago. Same soul, different mindset, different perspective, just different. 2 years ago I was being admitted inpatient to Georgetown Hospital for a chronic cycle of pain that was relentless. It started September 17, 2015—to this day I have not had a day without physical pain. I was in the midst of nursing school and recall driving from one hospital where I had clinical, to another hospital where I would be the patient—the sun was rising and I said to myself.. “I too will RISE UP again.” I was urged by the medical team to stay for my last 3 treatments, I dismissed them given my gut told me that this was not the answer *plus I had to be back at clinical otherwise they’d fail me for the semester*continues⬇️