Hey look everyone! It's #MarcusAurelius Equitius Probus's birthday! We don't know much about this gent, but history says he was a military commander of sorts who kicked major ass out in the battlefields of Syria and Egypt. When his boss, Tacitus, up and croaked, #Probus had a new boss, #Florian. Prob was all like, 'Nuh, uh, I ain't fightin' for that choad.' When Flo heard this, he was all like, 'Ummmm YAAA. You gotta fight for me, you did pinky swears with Taci so you just gotta.' And, Prob said, fine. Let's meet on a field of battle and settle this like real dudes who wear #togas during battle. Hmm.. The Middle East, mid-summer. Be there, or be square, ya dingus.'
Well, Florian's men weren't too keen on the heat stroke they were suffering, and the ass-kicking they were getting from Probus, so they up and killed Florian. Then, they all did a group pinky swear and yeah.
Years passed and the battles raged on, most were victorious, but then came the day when the soldiers said you're just not cool enough, Prob, and this new dude, Carus, has promised us tents set up for cuddling kittens as a way to de-stress from all of this battle crap. So, buh bye, Prob, you're dead now.
Poor Probus. I do hope you have one helluva birthday! maybe hang with some of the dudes who dug your style like #Patton and Montgomery! Make sure you share your cake!