I dread “first days.” They aren’t exciting.They are something to survive. In order to survive, I need to have a little faith- faith in my daughter, in myself, and in God’s plan.
This was taken 2 yrs ago after going to orientation at a “typical” Mother’s Morning Out program. My daughter was almost 3 but was in the 1’s program. Her 15 mo old brother was enrolled and they made an exception for her to attend. That orientation was torture! She was SO far behind the other children. The teachers were welcoming and accommodating but I felt guilty about how much extra attention she would require. I felt like the other moms didn’t know how to talk to me. She felt my stress and completely fell apart when we got to the car. Her poor brother, neglected by his mom, went through his orientation with dad and then rode home with his emotional mother and sister.
As my daughter and I sat together in the quiet and safety of our home, I kept hearing these lyrics in my head. I believe God put them in my head like a broken record. I snapped this picture and attached the lyrics to remember the pure hopelessness I felt, knowing one day I could say “Look how far we’ve come.” She thrived in that MMO program and she is thriving in her ESE program today. (Swipe to see current pic.)
Yesterday was the first day of #PROMPT, a type of speech therapy involving touch to the face, lips, and mouth to help form sounds and eventually words. She doesn’t like people touching her face and when I left the appt, I could feel how long the road would be.
This picture is very personal (and difficult to share) but has been instrumental in shaping my perspective of “first days.” I hope it will speak to at least one mom who is feeling the weight of their circumstances and the long road ahead. I felt these same emotions creep up earlier this week but had this image to reflect back on...God’s broken record, every word still ringing true.
I want to encourage you to remember what those firsts looked and felt like so that you can measure the progress...because oftentimes the progress is painfully slow.
Tonight is her first dance class. Lord, help me.