Finally was able to speak to the Dr and he said the tumor was indeed malignant. Going forward, I have 2 options: monitor or radiation.
He told me that because it was contained, he would be ok with monitoring if thats what I choose. So thats what we’ll do•

Fortunately, I haven’t really had time to think because of how fast everything happened. When I finally did, the emotion that stands out the most isn’t the one I would have expected like anger or fear•

It’s guilt. Guilt is what I have felt the most. Here I am, one week after surgery, pain free, and lightly working out. The continued support from my personal family and friends, and the family from work is so amazing, I hope they know I will spend forever expressing my gratitude•

In the mean time, I can’t help but feel for the people that aren’t so lucky. I know we can’t help the hands we are dealt. And maybe I’m crazy for feeling this way. But, its where I am mentally. I plan on getting away for a little bit. Its been a crazy year and I need a mental re-do•

Just know that I’m not staring at these 25’s out of anger or pity. It’s just a perfect example of how quickly you want to move past the little guys for the bigger and better ones. Like a lot of things, i’ll never take them for granted again. •

My life is different now and I GET TO move forward always wondering if I’m completely in the clear. To some, that sounds terrible. To me, “getting to move forward” speaks volumes.

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