In our society, it is really hard to be body confident. When we are overweight, people shame us for being fat, when we lose weight, people shame us for being too "skinny". When we post pictures of ourselves in jeans and t-shirts we get no likes, and when we post pictures in bikinis we are considered arrogant or slutty.
Yesterday I posted a pic of myself in my bikini on my Facebook. Today, I had a co-worker tell me that she didn't like that particular picture, that my body didn't look very good in it, that the picture did nothing for my body, and that I should take the picture down.
First, I cannot believe that someone could say that out loud to another person. The particular woman has known me for 15 years, she has known my struggles with weight and she has witnessed my journey, both the good and the bad. So for her to point out that my body doesn't look good in a certain pic (which I think is an amazing pic, btw.) is shocking to me. Why as women do we do this to other women?
This particular woman weighs 300+ pounds, and she is in poor health. She has been overweight her entire life and teased for it most of her life. Never once, have I made a comment as to what her body looks like or cannot do. Never once have I told her what she is wearing doesn't look good on her body type, nor have I ever shamed her in any way for what she looks like or chooses to post on social media.
So I was confused as to why people think they can just say anything, to someone who is fit. Like we don't have insecurities, and issues with our bodies? I have probably more body insecurities now than I did when I weighed 250lbs.
Then I really thought about it, and usually when we are so quick to say something negative about someone else, it is because we see something in ourselves that we don't like or that we wish we could change and then project that on the person who seems to have what we don't -- be it physical beauty or just confidence. I've been there, I've done that -- just never to their face! -- but yeah, there are times I have thought bad things about women who I believe have better bodies or even lives than I have.
Let's start raising each other up not tearing each other down