Happy with this. Not my biggest or my smallest but content and comfortable. Until a little over 2 years ago, I fought my body every step of the way. Having the #confidence to post the photos I do goes so much deeper than vanity and what some may think. It's not for the 'likes' or the comments. It's about coming from a place of such self hatred for the majority of my life and finally loving who I am and what I've been able to accomplish. I have taken my body to its absolute limits... But I've taken my mind so much further. .
For the majority of 16 to 17 years I was very #bulimic and had an incredibly awful relationship with myself and with food. Food and binging on it was my emotional comfort that quickly turned into such physical discomfort that I'd purge.. Sometimes up to 7 times a day. 😢🙊 I was sad and sick and absolutely awful to myself. I had no self control over how much I would eat so the only thing I felt I could control was how much I could get rid of. Sick, disgusting, shameful, embarrassing, mortifying.... But it was my reality every single day. I was the girl that kept the towel next to the pool so I could cover my body within nanoseconds of exiting the water. My confidence, self worth, and self image was in toilet with possibly breakfast, lunch, and dinner on any given day. .
I'm a different person now. My physical growth pales in comparison to my mental gains. My relationship with food is the healthiest it's ever been along with my body at 35. I'm strong as hell for my size, my hair and nails are thick and don't break as easily, and I finally have the confidence in myself to put on a bikini and feel comfortable with exactly who I am and what my body has been through. So, while you may see my posts, roll your eyes 🙄, and mutter "ugh another selfie?!"... Understand that I worked my fucking ass off to be able to like who I am enough to do that... Because there was a time I would look at my reflection in the mirror or the water in the toilet bowl and just sob. .
I'm unapologetically happy with myself and who I'm growing to be. If it's not for you, that's OK! Because it's great for me and I truly hope you're great with where you're at too😊.