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#fightthethoughts

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Genau 4 1/2 Monate, 18 Wochen, 123 Tage, 2950 Stunden ist es her das ich hier angekommen bin. Tage voller Höhen und Tiefen, den Gedanken übers aufgeben oder weiterkämpfen. Ich habe mich entschieden dem haben eine Chance zu geben auch wenn ich dieses oft bereut habe, weiß ich das es die richtige Entscheidung ist. Ich habe gekämpft, bin weitergekommen aber auch wieder gefallen. Bin auch mal 2 Schritte zurück und nur 1 nach vorne gegangen. Doch das wichtige ist das ich wieder nach vorne gegangen bin. In dieser Zeit habe ich so viel gelernt, nicht nur über meine Essstörung sondern auch über mich. Nun ist es Zeit für mich nach Hause zu gehen und mein richtiges Leben wieder zu leben. Es wird nicht immer einfach das weiß ich aber ich bin bereit dagegen zu kämpfen was mich runterzieht. Es ist alles möglich wenn man es will auch wenn es anfangs so unmöglich erschien! Danke für die schönen Wochen hier und alle die mich unterstützt haben. I miss you 💗

Today's conclusion. #fightthethoughts

Eating this meal brought so many feelings. I’ve been terrified of pizza for so long. I told myself I didn’t like it. But I enjoyed these slices. For a second, I forgot all about the disorder. Then, after I finished my meal and felt the food in my tummy, I lurched. How can I be so silly, allowing myself to enjoy food? Surely this meal was too greasy, too cheesy, too big - and will cause my weight to leap this week (along with every other meal and snack). I feel so frustrated that each time I feel victorious and that I ‘dont care’ about ED and my weight, I instantly feel disgusted and horrified at myself. The weight getting bigger drives me insane. It makes me feel scared, out of control, and vulnerable. And yet, the comfort of staying at the same lower weight all my life doesn’t last long either, as I’m quickly filled with anger at how this disorder makes me feel shameful and unhappy. I crave freedom from the thoughts around food and weight gain. I wish I didn’t care about the number on the scale and that it didn’t dictate my happiness or choices of meals in the next hours. I don’t know how to get out of the spiral of seeing higher numbers on the scale and still staying committed to my meals without eliminating anything because I’m terrified at the number I see... #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #edwarrior #minniemaud #staystrong #nopainnogain #fightthethoughts

"The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about."💯 •
Every day is a fight, my biggest enemy is and always will be myself.

#FightTheBattle #LoveYourself #Live
#Inspire #LiveForNow #MakeItBeautiful #ForgetThePast #DontStressTheFuture
#FightTheThoughts #WinTheBattle
#CaliLivin #DreamedIt #MyReality
#SelfMade #DeepThoughts

Sunday truth...sometimes our thoughts can stop us from making the right choices....#lifelessons #truth#fightthethoughts

I'm still alive guys 😅✌Enjoyed this with my sister today. A lot is happening and going on in my head, but I guess that's a good thing, even though it often doesn't feel like that at all. But we will get through this and there were a lot of good moments as well - like this one from today. Stay strong y'all, hope you're okay ❤ #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #eatittobeatit #fightthethoughts

Spicy teriyaki tofu sushi bowl 😍😋 #recovery #strength #fightthethoughts #foodisfuel

MOST RECENT

Eating this meal brought so many feelings. I’ve been terrified of pizza for so long. I told myself I didn’t like it. But I enjoyed these slices. For a second, I forgot all about the disorder. Then, after I finished my meal and felt the food in my tummy, I lurched. How can I be so silly, allowing myself to enjoy food? Surely this meal was too greasy, too cheesy, too big - and will cause my weight to leap this week (along with every other meal and snack). I feel so frustrated that each time I feel victorious and that I ‘dont care’ about ED and my weight, I instantly feel disgusted and horrified at myself. The weight getting bigger drives me insane. It makes me feel scared, out of control, and vulnerable. And yet, the comfort of staying at the same lower weight all my life doesn’t last long either, as I’m quickly filled with anger at how this disorder makes me feel shameful and unhappy. I crave freedom from the thoughts around food and weight gain. I wish I didn’t care about the number on the scale and that it didn’t dictate my happiness or choices of meals in the next hours. I don’t know how to get out of the spiral of seeing higher numbers on the scale and still staying committed to my meals without eliminating anything because I’m terrified at the number I see... #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #edwarrior #minniemaud #staystrong #nopainnogain #fightthethoughts

Part of me feels terrified as I continue to eat and gain weight. But part of me is getting comfortable with regular meals - until I see the scale go up. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do to cope with this. Or the feeling after I’ve eaten a large meal and feel stuffed. The thoughts get loud and I feel guilty for eating, horrified at the weight gain and body changes, and so on. I know that I still need to fight, but it provokes fear and anxiety within me #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #edwarrior #minniemaud #staystrong #nopainnogain #fightthethoughts

Was so tempted to make this meal smaller, but then I remembered that tomorrow is a big deciding day for me. So even though ED was loud as heck, I finished my meal. My tummy is bloated and it hurts; and my brain is loud with thoughts of anger that I ate so much today. It’s funny, because part of me is terrified of a bigger number on the scale and yet the other part wants a bigger number so that I’m not punished for not meeting the goal. It’s so screwed up. I can’t wait until the day - I hope it comes - when I don’t have to worry about meeting a goal gain, when I can eat without gaining, and when I don’t need to fight thoughts that tempt me to restrict or haunt me about my weight. Plz keep me in your thoughts and prayers! #anorexiarecovery #edwarrior #edrecovery #staystrong #minniemaud #fightthethoughts #trusttheprocess

My mom tried to make this breakfast special, knowing that this process is hard on me and the larger meals with the rapid weight gain is distressing. Its so tough on me - my family is so supportive, but they don’t quite understand how hard gaining around five pounds a week is. It scares me to hell - I want the gain to stop. I want to feel like I can eat without gaining weight. Why can’t my body just be normal and not keep gaining? I’m trying to stay strong but the thoughts are loud...#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #edwarrior #staystrong #fightthethoughts #imscared

Kebabs for lunch! My thoughts are getting loud again, telling me I’m going to gain so much from eating all this food. But I know I need to gain - I guess I just want to see that I can eat WITHOUT gaining weight. To feel that I don’t have to worry about what I eat and don’t need to restrict because my weight won’t always go up. I hope this day will come but I feel hopeless that it will. For now, I suppose I must remember that weight gain is what is needed now - maybe as I eat more, my metabolism will speed up...? I have hope. Anyone with experiences with this - plz share! #anorexiarecovery #edwarrior #edrecovery #nopainnogain #eatittobeatit #staystrong #fightthethoughts

Bigger portions are hard. It’s like I can ‘feel’ and see the weight pile on. When I reflect on how much 4000 calories is to me, I freeze and get scared. The fears of rapid weight gain, which I’ve seen to occur on this journey, begin. But today is a new day. I need to eat everything on my meal plan. I need to show those around me - and myself - that I can do this. That I acknowledge the pain and fear and anxiety, but I chose to eat everything I need to because I’m choosing life over death. Freedom over slavery. Happiness over sadness. Energy over fatigue. Trust over fear. It’s easier said than done, but I don’t want to let anyone - or myself - down. Praying for strength today that regardless of what happens, I’ll stick to the plan #anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edwarrior #edrecovery #staystrong #dontquit #nopainnogain #fightthethoughts #recoveryisworthit

morning!!
today’s breakfast (amongst other things of course) is soggy, milky weetabix 🙃 today will be quite challenging, I’m going on a trip with a friend who’s very insensitive about my eating disorder and constantly comments on my food. going to try and push thought and enjoy the day though!
keep fighting!
#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #recoveryftw #fightthethoughts #community #morningsnack #happyandhealthy #strongnotskinny #iamnot1in5 #crushanasbones #fightforfestivities #killtheeatingdisorder #mentalhealth #loveyourself #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorderrecovery #dontrestrictcalories #eatingforhealth

hi!!!
I don’t know where to start really. I never thought I would find a community for eating disorder recovery but what do you know, there’s 7 billion people on this earth, anything’s possible. This community has been really helpful for me, and I really want to be helpful for someone else. Recovery has been difficult and I’m only just beginning, but I feel like if I try and be a role model for others, it will help me fight this eating disorder even better by myself.
I won’t be posting everything I eat at the moment as I’m lazy (lol) and I don’t want people comparing to my eating plan. This is part of my morning snack (late ik oops): a white flesh nectarine.
Keep on fighting!
#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #recoveryftw #fightthethoughts #community #morningsnack #happyandhealthy #strongnotskinny #iamnot1in5 #crushanasbones #fightforfestivities #killtheeatingdisorder #mentalhealth #loveyourself #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorderrecovery #dontrestrictcalories #eatingforhealth

Sorry I haven't been so active I've been enjoying school friends and soccer I still want to post on this account I'm going to try to post more but I'm not gonna go out of my way when I'm with friends to post! I lot of triggering stuff happend at school today and ig that's just the reality of life I'm gonna keep fighting my ed and become a normal teen again! If you ever want help dm me without help I wouldn't be where I am in recovery today don't be embarrassed to ask for help it's your way to freedom from the little voice inside your head that will drive you crazy, keep fighting ❤️-----#edrecovery#edsupport#anorexiarecovery#eatdisorderrecovery#yougotthis#fightthethoughts#selflove ----

Had a great dinner with my boyfriend tonight... zucchini and chicken followed by a massive bowl of strawberry ❤️ #edworriors #eatclean #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #edwontwin #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #dinner #zucchini #eatingdisorder #fightthethoughts #2fab4ana #anawontwin #anawarrior

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