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#fightinged

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All my life- I've been told i'm the wrong size... Wrong shape... Wrong weight. I need to lose weight- put on weight... Eat less... Eat more... Keep my food down... Not get too muscular... Not look too strong.
I have literally made myself sick trying to find a body that I felt happy in.... I defined myself by numbers on a scale... So Id throw up every day... til my hands would shake and my head would spin.
The lighter I got- I wasn't any happier... So I threw away the scale.
Over the course of the last year I put almost 60 lbs of the 120 I originally lost- back on. The pictures on the left are far from the worst I let it get. But it is when I decided to take my fitness back into my hands... to make myself a priority again.
Fitness is not a straight path... And it looks different for everyone. It's taken 5 years to get where I am... And no I'm not happy yet. I still can't tell you where I'm trying to go.... I still fight the urge to binge eat. Still have to fight a constant want to not keep my food down. But it's our daily battles that make us the strongest.
I am stronger than I've ever been... I am determined... I know how to put in the work... I've literally cried through a workout- but finished it.
My body isn't wrong. My head is.
#gym #fit #thisbody #thickfit #fightinged #gymfam #thicknessismysickness #girlsthatlift #fuckyourbeautystandards #evolve #thickthighsandprettyeyes

Too dark for a good photo, but with expert edits this tiramisu still looks bomb (it was 💁🏼). ANNOUNCEMENT TIME❗️.
• • •
Been feeling so damn exhausted all week. Work has been fun, but tiring. Travel time has been long. Up at 6:15 and then on the bus for 2 hours. Another 2 hours after work. And it's killing. It's dragging my mood down to shits. But I'm still going 💪🏼. Killing migraines but fighting back with coffee ☕️ and family visits (and tiramisu even after murdering migraines, stomach aches and nausea (which wasn't necessarily the best decision tbh, but it tasted lovely)).
• • •
Important thing is, I'm not letting any of this drag me under. I continue to make time for myself, my projects, and my care. I continue to eat and nourish myself. Today I went to the hairdresser (after a year) and will see my little cousin. Life is good -- you just need to find the beauty in it ❤️

I ate a Korean dumpling thing. I'm stressed out because I'm hungry for the first in weeks but I would rather eat an organized meal than snacking mindlessly. So I don't know what to do 😞 also... I've gained 8 pounds since the start of my vacation 🙄 that was fully clothed, in the middle of the day and after like 3 cups of water but I'm still freaking out 😭 I hate this.
#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #beated #2fab4ana #edfamily #fightinged #recovery #eattolive #anorexiafighter #bulimiafighter #edfree #foodisfuel #edwarrior #recoveryisworthit #ED #EDsoldier #weightrestored

10.22 Breakfast
634BAGEL/黒ごま生地 干し芋・マスカットレーズン(ホールウィート)
自然解凍→レンチン→リベイク
***
青パンでゲットした634さんのベーグルはめちゃくちゃ私好みだった😍
もっと買えばよかったー🤤
…
全粒粉の生地に黒ごまを練り込むところがまず素晴らしい✨
スーッと口から鼻へ抜ける全粒粉と黒ごまの香ばしさがたまらない🤤
練り込まれてる芋は新鮮な芋ではなく、甘みの凝縮された干し芋であるということ、そしてレーズンは甘みの強いマスカットレーズンであるということ、この二つもポイント高い😇
全粒粉生地はどうしても酸味が強くなる傾向があるけど、そこに甘さの要素を足して中和させることで、また一つ上のレベルに到達してる💕
東京のお店なのに青パンのあの行列の長さは圧巻だった!
でも食べて納得!
さすがの美味しさ😋
今のところ青パンでゲットしたパンの中では一番😆
634さんはもう一つあるので、そっちも食べるのが楽しみだ〜😍
本当、もっと買えばよかった😂
#eatingdisorder#eatingdisorderrecovery#anorexia#anxiety#edfighter#edwarrior#fooddiary#fightinged#everythingwillbeok#摂食障害#拒食症#摂食障害克服#摂食障害克服中#拒食症克服#拒食症克服中#食事記録#朝食#朝ごパン#breakfast#ベーグル#bagel#634bagel#634ベーグル#青山パン祭り#青パン12#全粒粉#wholewheat#ベーグル大好き#🎃パンの備忘録🎃

I have been FULLY committed to my #recovery for 1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ DAYS. I have had my #upsanddowns, but at the end of the day I kept pushing through 👊🏼. Recovery is NOT linear. I HAVE made tremendous #progress and I can’t wait for what the future will bring. For my #morningsnack I am having a #maxwellhouse Cafe Mocha ☕️ with a @quaker Caramel Chocolate Chip 🍫 #ricecake. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#edrecovery #prorecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #realrecovery #fightingED #anarecovery #anorexia #beatana #anorexiarecovery #bingefree #bedrecovery #anxiety #fooddiary #cmrecovery

Missing @plantmatterkitchen pierogies every Wednesday😢
They were honestly the greatest thing!
But, their new restaurant just opened downtown! That's so excited! I hope I can go there tomorrow and check it out 👍🏻 Have a great evening lovelies! ------------------------------- #eattolive#fightinged#selflove#foodisfuel#positiverecovery#edfree#veganeats
#vegan#vegansofinstagram#veganfoodshare#veganfoodporn#recoveryispossible#recoveryisworthit#anorexìanervosarecovery#eatingdisorderrecovery#edfam#hclf#plantbasedfood#crueltyfree#weightrestored#gofruityourself#carbthefuckup#perogies#potato#salad#veggies#edsurvivor#mentalhealthawareness

I had two bowls of chicken and dumplings for dinner and some eddy's slow churned but I ended up purging and A fair amount of blood came up so that was interesting turn of events 🙃 hopefully I just nicked myself or something.
#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #beated #2fab4ana #edfamily #fightinged #recovery #eattolive #anorexiafighter #bulimiafighter #edfree #foodisfuel #edwarrior #recoveryisworthit #ED #EDsoldier #weightrestored

MOST RECENT

Snack Time ➡️ I am having a #cloverleaf traditional #hummussnack with a #sugarfree @delmonte Popsicle. The #hummus contains puréed chickpeas in tahini, with seasonings, and olive oil for a smooth texture. This nutritious, delicious, convenient and portable #snack contains 6️⃣ crackers and a spoon for spreading 👍🏼 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#edrecovery #prorecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #realrecovery #fightingED #anarecovery #anorexia #beatana #anorexiarecovery #bingefree #bedrecovery #anxiety #fooddiary #cmrecovery

My Little brother came to visit me today and it was amazing ❤️ he's the reason I'm fighting so hard right now. When he asks me if I'm coming home with him it breaks my heart but when I do go home I will be stronger than ever 💪🏻 2 beds have been found for me we're just waiting for them to complete the acceptance and whichever does it first will be the unit I am moved to. That means there is a 90% chance it will be tomorrow when I go. I'm petrified but also hopeful as I know this is the only thing that can save me and I'm ready to fight with every ounce of my body (bonus for any extra ounce I gain there 😏😂) I'll update when I can and I'll try to post on my story tomorrow to let y'all know what's happening 🙃lotta love to you all ❤️ #anorexia #bulimia #anarecovery #edsoldier #eatingdisorderrecovery #adultswitheds #eatingdisorder #socialanxiety #edfighter #neda #fightinged #depression #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #mentalhealth #anxiety #realrecovery #ptsd #stopthestigma #stigma #recovering #edfamily #edfam #edcommunity #recoverywin #fuckana #ana #anorexianervosa #fuckanorexia

For my morning snack I was hungry so I tired to eat Oreos (fearfood/trigger foods) one of my goals / rewards imma give myself if I lose weight is eat a full size chochlete bar I got full by eating 4 so my munchkin eat the rest I just had my breakfast scrambled eggs spinach ham and carrots maybe next post I will post it idk and I been noticing my bones which scares me and I'm just hope I'm not losing weight and Im really nervous about school and stuff hopefully friends help me cause I cant carry anything goals face #fearfears one a at time once a week #triggered #tiggerfoods #trigger and #anorexiarecovery #food #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #recoveryispossible #fightinged #fightingana #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #anorexic #fightinganorexia #recovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #nothealthy #biggestfear #triggers #anorexiawin #anorexiafight #anorexiatips ❇️❇️❇️❇️❇️❇️ ask me questions on Sarah I will answer them on my snapchat story and instagram story or in a YouTube video

I have been FULLY committed to my #recovery for 1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ DAYS. I have had my #upsanddowns, but at the end of the day I kept pushing through 👊🏼. Recovery is NOT linear. I HAVE made tremendous #progress and I can’t wait for what the future will bring. For my #morningsnack I am having a #maxwellhouse Cafe Mocha ☕️ with a @quaker Caramel Chocolate Chip 🍫 #ricecake. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#edrecovery #prorecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #realrecovery #fightingED #anarecovery #anorexia #beatana #anorexiarecovery #bingefree #bedrecovery #anxiety #fooddiary #cmrecovery

//today Im having for a dinner this huuuge plate of pasta with soy, onions & cheese 😌
I ate only three bananas for breakfast around 12 am and had some struggles with lunch.
Why restricting from food feels so awesome?! 😣
But now I am fighting my ed symptoms and going to eat this pasta! And maybe smth for dessert after. 😜
I just hope that Im not gonna feel guilty. Fingers crossed.✊💪 #dinner #letseat #macandcheese #plantbased #ed #restrictingfood #anxiety #fightinged

pic 1: couscous w/ roasted calabaza and hummus/ buttermilk sauce /// pic 2: pudding oats with blueberries //// pic 3: a joint lmfao ///// so uh. I have been eating kinda, my intake is considerably higher than it was (900+ consistently now) but I've been purging a lot, and the last two days I've had family/ friend events that caused me to eat much more and I wanted to die. I had 1600 and 1300 respectively each day, and gained about 4 lbs. however, I weighed myself today and I'm back to 89 lbs. idk whats going on haha I know water weight and food weight exists but its so hard psychologically to eat and see my stomach swell. I look in the mirror and I can see my thigh gap closing and a double chin and just fat swallowing me up but the scale tells me the opposite. idk I'm Stressed. I'm fasting right now even though I shouldn't be but my dad is gonna be home today and the stress of eating + him will really drive me fucking insane, so I'm just gonna eat if someone offers me food but not go out of my way to eat for my mental health today.

Buona domenica a tutte/i 💕
So che come pranzo domenicale è un po' triste ma oggi va così 😢
Perché se un giorno va tutto positivamente, quello seguente devo per forza stare male? Ieri ho parlato con lo psicologo e dopo stavo molto meglio, ma oggi mi sono svegliata ripensando a tutto ciò di cui abbiamo parlato, a quelle cose e a quelle persone che mi hanno fatto del male e ho troppa rabbia addosso adesso. Penso che urge un'altra seduta prima possibile 😥 scusate il mio sfogo, nonostante tutto nei confronti del cibo e della guarigione voglio restare positiva! Un passo per volta ne verremo fuori 💪
#keepfighting #food #fooddiary #foodblogger #disturbialimentari #edwarrior #diet #dieta #bulimia #beatingbinge #beatingbulimia #eatingdisorder #calamari #broccoli #veggies #healty #healtylife #healtyfood #psychologist #fightinged #fightingdca #dca

Et non ce n’est pas un latergram, petit #breakfast tranquillou à 13h ! 😍
Et j’avais envie que de sucre ! Alors oui ce petit dej est pas du tout équilibré mais il me faisait envie 😍😍
Bon sinon j’ai pas trop trop le moral j’ai appris le décès de quelqu’un que je connaissais, la vingtaine et il a eu une rupture d’anévrisme 😰
Et c’est la que je me rend compte qu’on a qu’une vie, qu’elle peut s’arrêter à tout moment 😰 On s’embête avec de la nourriture et dans la plupart des cas on oublie de vivre, de sortir, de s’amuser, de partager, mais c’est tellement ça le plus important, de vivre tout simplement ! ❤️
Prenez soin de vous mes chatons ❤️
#anorexie #anorexiementale #anorexia #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #anawarrior #anasoldier #beatana #beatanorexia #ed #edwarrior #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #edfamily #fightinged #prorecovery #realrecovery #selfharm #tca #troublealimentaire

I deleted what I eat for (yesterday) Breakfast /Recipe
------------------------------/-----------//---------/-/----------------❇️❇️❇️
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♥️ breastfast was oatmeal 😋♥️ almond milk vanilla and water a , whole big banana apple pieces 😏😋 I loved oatmeal 😋😇 ➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️😔➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️😔➡️ #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #recoveryday #anorexia #fightingana #fightinged #eatingdisorderrecovery #food #breakfast #apples #oatmeal 😋 Also ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ I been noticing I that I love apples 😂 and chicken and a bunch of fruits 😋 #recovery #getting better #triggers and my #fearfoods mean the same thing to me btw 6) or 5 idk I been having panic attacks which I'm scare for school hopefully I can walk up all the stairs #wishmeluck plz 😭😭🙏🏻♥️ #healthcomesfirst #anorexiafight #anorexicrecovery

Dinner 3 tacos de . Veste if that's how u even spell that) and lettece with salsa ::•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• So this what I eat for dinner we had a party so I had to eat this 😋 which it was my #fearfood ♥️❤️ and I also did a midnight snack apples (2) and a been trying to drink a class of milk everyday there so good 😋 also :::: :::::: ::: I been having panic attacks and it's hard cause I feel weak a lot and I'm nervous about school I don't really get my homework and I feel like the teachers are going to be like wtf is she crying sorry for the language #anorexiarecovery #recovery #fearfoods #recovery #edrecovery #anorexia #fightingana #fightinged #preed #recoverywin #snack #mexicanfood #tacos #healthylifestyle #healthcomesfirst

10.22 Lunch
焼き豆腐、スルメイカ、魚河岸揚げ、キムチ、えのきで韓国風豆腐チゲ🍲
ご飯は栗入りの玄米ごはんです😋
寒い日は家に篭って熱々のご飯を食べることが一番の幸せじゃい💕💕
#eatingdisorder#eatingdisorderrecovery#anorexia#anxiety#edfighter#edwarrior#fooddiary#fightinged#everythingwillbeok#摂食障害#拒食症#摂食障害克服#摂食障害克服中#拒食症克服#拒食症克服中#食事記録#昼食#昼ごはん#lunch#おうちごはん#チゲ#豆腐チゲ#焼き豆腐#スルメイカ#魚河岸揚げ#キムチ#えのき#栗入り#玄米

Dinner Time ➡️ I am having 3️⃣ oz of Pork Tenderloin 🐷, 1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ grams of #mashedpotatoes 🥔 with a side of Baby Carrots 🥕and @litehousefoods Dilly Dip. The potatoes 🥔 are light and fluffy yet rich and creamy, with just a hint of garlic and thyme 👌🏼 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#edrecovery #prorecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #realrecovery #fightingED #anarecovery #anorexia #beatana #anorexiarecovery #bingefree #bedrecovery #anxiety #fooddiary #cmrecovery

10.22 Breakfast
634BAGEL/黒ごま生地 干し芋・マスカットレーズン(ホールウィート)
自然解凍→レンチン→リベイク
***
青パンでゲットした634さんのベーグルはめちゃくちゃ私好みだった😍
もっと買えばよかったー🤤
…
全粒粉の生地に黒ごまを練り込むところがまず素晴らしい✨
スーッと口から鼻へ抜ける全粒粉と黒ごまの香ばしさがたまらない🤤
練り込まれてる芋は新鮮な芋ではなく、甘みの凝縮された干し芋であるということ、そしてレーズンは甘みの強いマスカットレーズンであるということ、この二つもポイント高い😇
全粒粉生地はどうしても酸味が強くなる傾向があるけど、そこに甘さの要素を足して中和させることで、また一つ上のレベルに到達してる💕
東京のお店なのに青パンのあの行列の長さは圧巻だった!
でも食べて納得!
さすがの美味しさ😋
今のところ青パンでゲットしたパンの中では一番😆
634さんはもう一つあるので、そっちも食べるのが楽しみだ〜😍
本当、もっと買えばよかった😂
#eatingdisorder#eatingdisorderrecovery#anorexia#anxiety#edfighter#edwarrior#fooddiary#fightinged#everythingwillbeok#摂食障害#拒食症#摂食障害克服#摂食障害克服中#拒食症克服#拒食症克服中#食事記録#朝食#朝ごパン#breakfast#ベーグル#bagel#634bagel#634ベーグル#青山パン祭り#青パン12#全粒粉#wholewheat#ベーグル大好き#🎃パンの備忘録🎃

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