I’ve been a bit quiet of late. Taking some time to rest and recover from travel and reconnect with my husband. Tomorrow I’m off on a cruise with my mom.
My mom booked the cruise for the two of us over a year ago. She loves cruising and wanted to spend the quality time with me. I’ve been hesitant to post about it because I didn't know if I would be healthy enough to go. And of course my blood work decided to get all wonky right before we leave, so I’ve had to get daily CBC panels, even up to the day I leave, in hopes that my levels would improve, which they’re gratefully 🙌 starting to do.
My health isn’t great, but there’s been countless hours of planning with my medical team, infusion pharmacy, ship disability services, and on board medical services. The cruise line is used to a lot of elderly passengers with varying medical needs, so they’ve been extremely accommodating. I’ll have my wheelchair. I’ve learned to access and deaccess my port, so I’ll be able to manage my IV hydration. I’ll have a chair in the shower. I’ll be taking a break from antibiotics. I’ll even be traveling with friend of my mom’s who is a nurse. We’ve covered all the bases...
And yet, I also worried about being judged by some members of the chronic illness community. That maybe I’d be thought to be less ill than I really am. Or perhaps that people would judge me for traveling while I’m so sick. But then I remember that, “no one else knows my body better than I do” and that I can’t keep waiting to get healthy to live my life because I may never get there. I don’t know what the future holds, so I have to live in the present. The reality is that many of my chronic illnesses have no cure and for some there are even very little treatment options. I don’t say this to be pessimistic, but rather as a reminder that I have to make my life where I am. I’ve also spent far too much of my life when I was healthy worrying about what other people think and I just don’t have the energy to do it anymore.
So after a lot of soul searching and preparation, I set sail tomorrow...the coziest #galaxyprint blanket ever in tow. .