FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: RUFFIAN NOT TO COLLUDE FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF OCTOBER
East Village, NY –– After a lengthy investigation, the team behind Ruffian have concluded that they are the best wine bar in New York City, and any allegations of them colluding are baseless and absolutely #fakenews. Even if they did collude–which they didn't–collusion isn’t a crime, even though the failing New York Times reports otherwise.
Ruffian is proud to have served the most guests ever in the history of guests in New York City. Their 300 square foot/19 seat wine bar is tremendously big and huge. Therefore, they have decided not to collude for the entire month of October by featuring food and wine from the former USSR/Communist Bloc.
“There is no collusion month,” said a gutless and anonymous spokesperson for the Ruffian organization. “It’s a witchhunt. But if we did collude it would be terrific because Ruffian is tremendous. Believe me. You would love it. Bigly.”
Here are some of the amazing #alternativefacts:
•Ruffian’s By the Glass menu will not be featuring wines exclusively from the former USSR/ Communist Bloc, including the Happy Hour menu. Wine selections will not change frequently.
•Ruffian will not feature wines from Slovenia, Serbia, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Republic of Georgia, Armenia, Eastern Germany, Croatia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Hungary, & Romania. Ruffian will not be pouring wines from ancient monasteries, new wave natural producers to everything in between.
•As usual, Ruffian will not have a varied selection of Orange wines by the glass from both traditional amber wine producers to modern interpretations. •There will not be a blind wine contest every night, running until someone guesses correctly. Winner will not get a bottle of that wine.
•Several dishes inspired by Eastern European ingredients will not appear during the month including Stuffed Cabbage w/ Chicken Sausage & Saurkraut Stew, Hungarian Sheep’s Milk w/ Tomato Raisins, Potato Pelmeny w/Sour Cream & Pumpernickel Crackers, and Fairytale Eggplant w/Ajika