How can people be so mean? Why would someone take time to criticize you, gossip about you, or leave rude comments online? What’s in it for them? When someone compares themselves to you, they’ll either feel a sense of inferiority or superiority depending on how they choose to see you. Comparison is a very painful ego pattern that we’ve all indulged in at one time or another. If someone compares themselves to you and they feel “less than”, they’ll do whatever they can to restore their ego. One way the ego loves to feel “better than” is by criticizing, bullying, and complaining. When someone criticizes, they make themselves “right” and the other “wrong”, therefore creating a temporary feeling of superiority. That’s the benefit they seek: the feeling of righteousness and temporarily inflated ego.
Should you take it personally when someone criticizes you? Never. The way this person sees you depends entirely on their inner relationship with themselves. When someone criticizes you, they’ll always criticize in an area in which they feel insecure. For example, if someone feels insecure about their body image, that’s what they’ll criticize you about. This person isn’t seeing you, they’re seeing themselves.
How can you feel better when someone makes a nasty comment about you? Recognize they’re in pain. They can only be so mean to you because they’re that mean to themselves; that’s how they talk to themselves internally. Have you ever felt “less than” someone so you searched for something to criticize them about? Have you ever felt pain because you didn’t feel good enough? Use that part of yourself to have compassion for the one making negative comments. When we move out of ego into our higher selfs, we see that when we criticize someone, we criticize ourselves. There’s no need to criticize this person back, break the cycle by loving them. It can be difficult to be criticized and not feel hurt but we must recognize it carries no truth about us; the only accurate information criticism has for us is that the one leaving it is in pain. Have compassion for them and always have compassion for yourself. Comment with 💚 if you read til the end.