The time for writing has come. I have been living my life and writing about it in bits and pieces. I continue to wake to a new day of Life each time I open my eyes and think to myself, “Hey, you should probably get on with this business of writing it all down in one place.”
And then the Writer’s ADD kicks in and I allow myself to be distracted by email or yoga or music or text message or anything BUT writing. So on this gloriously perfect Sunday afternoon, I turn off my phone, I close all windows on the computer except for this one, I turn off all music, I even dismiss the cats, and I sit down.
(Later. Much squirrelling and much later.). After much avoidance, I meditated. On my knees. For 20 minutes. I still have no feeling in my lower extremities. As I sat with the discomfort of the tingling building in my toes, and intensifying as it traveled up my bent legs and all the way to my glutes, I had many passing thoughts, none of which had to do with writing or organizing my life onto paper.some were about yoga - ok, most were about yoga. Some were about what I’m going to do this week before my Child leaves for Japan. Many were about the tingling in my body and how I should just get up now and end this sit.
I acknowledged each of these and noted that for me, at least, it takes a good 10 minutes into a sit before I become focused, and that’s when I’m sitting on my cushion rather than on bent knees. I repeated to myself, “tingling. Sit with it. Tingling. Sit with it.” Eventually my thoughts softened and focused. I was hoping to receive some great muse of inspiration. Instead, my mind whispered to me, “Girl, you are not done doing the things you need to do. Yes, you will share on paper, but right now focus on doing the things on the smaller scale. You’ve helped yourself, you are helping small groups. Soon those groups will grow into something larger. Remember, walk first. Then run.” And I sat some more.
Hoping for further guidance I sat even longer still. When I was satisfied that I had received what I was being given in this moment, I flickered my eyes open, moved around and slowly let the blood begin flowing back into my legs, feet and toes.