Many nights she wondered,
What was wrong with her.
Many nights she had thoughts that
she wasn’t attractive, she wasn’t pretty enough.
She wasn’t pretty enough for guys to be interested. Sure, she had lots of guy friends that thought she was cool and funny (I think), but she just wasn’t attractive enough to be seen as more than just a friend. At least that’s what she had no choice to believe.
She was the friend that lingered around while a guy flirted with her girls friends; the friend that guys knew to befriend so they’d get a chance with her friends; she was the cool girl who happened to have vitiligo. The girl with vitiligo living the same experiences of wanting to be loved and desired, similar to any other person growing into adulthood; except now she had an excuse as to why guys weren’t into her; it was an easy excuse to hide behind, she was ‘different’. I mean who would want to walk around with a black girl that has white spots everywhere? Oddly, it was comforting finally having a reason. Yet, it was never enough comfort to overpower the depression. The thought of never being loved constantly played in her mind.
But then, she finally learned to embrace herself, to embrace the fact that she is Aiesha. Understanding that no one else can love Aiesha, until Aiesha loves herself. Everyday was a struggle but once she began embracing herself and refused to succumb to the excuses, she truly understood that love first begins within. So she started loving herself. Getting to know who she really was and what she valued. This lead to the realization that she wasn’t ready for the love she deserved because she was yet to be her best self. She realized love is patient & with time, the perfect man will appear loving her inside & out - spots and all. 📷: @avril_mag 💄: @aj.makeup 👗: @whoissadhara
Featured: Avril Magazine