First time trying this @halotopuk flavour (my Tesco finally got in some of the different flavours!) so #pintparty for n/s plus popcorn and an options mint hot chocolate... and so the night before my ED appointment dread sets in 🙃
#edrecovery #anarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatittobeatit #edfamily #edfighter #anorexiafighter #anorexianervosa #edsoldier #edwarrior #eattolive #adultswitheds #foodismedicine

So taking a picture of this was pretty awkward since I was on the train, but my lunch on the go consisted of 4 hot dog rolls. I did feel guilty about eating all 4 of them, especially in public, but I tried to keep in mind that I didn't get time to have breakfast today and there's nothing wrong with eating when you're hungry

#eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #recovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #edrecovery #edcommunity #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawarness #prorecovery #edfighter #edsoldier #nourishnotpunish #realrecovery

so full now but this was soooooo delicious just had to eat it all up 🤤🤤🤤 #shirataki spaghetti with chopped tomatoes 🥫, #got7nutrition sweet tomato sauce and #chickenmince , never getting tired of this just so divine 👌😍

Perfect spot to sit Boone....I realize sometimes I am so mean to my body telling it it should be a certain way. I fail to remember that this bad ass body has loved me through so much shit. It loved me when i starved it and it loved me enough to recover from that and allow me to be a collegiate athlete and just live my life fully. No need to be such an asshole to my bod. My brain is what needs to change not this beautiful loving kind body. .

🎶 “So don't delay, act now, supplies are running out; Allow if you're still alive, six to eight years to arrive;
And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow; But if the offer is shun, you might as well be RUNNIN’ 🏃🏽‍♀️ (walkin') on the sun🎶😂🙈☀️ for real tho—early morning runs as the sun is rising...it kinda doesn’t get much better than that! 🎉 HAPPY Wednesday friends! 😊

If you are what you eat why not to eat something sweet? #postworkout #nightsnack was coffee and chocolate quark with crunchy cookie cereal, cacao nibs, flax, banana slices, strawberries and almond butter plus a salty peanut protein bar!👅
I know many of us struggle with comparing ourselves to other people. It’s a common nuisance in everything we do: eating, exercising, school or work and relationships. When it comes to food you should never feel bad because you ate more than the person right next to you. Eating is not a competition of who eats less than the other. You must remember that different people have different needs and when you’re recovering from a restrictive eating disorder you need much more energy than all those normal people do so eat your snack and don’t feel bad about it even if no one else is eating. With experience I can tell you that happiness is found when you understand that your story is unique and comparison will only make you feel inferior. Just be better than the person you were yesterday.✨

meh bad lighting but a fabulous dinner, and even better with a friend round. I had summer pudding for dessert and now we’re watching the fabulous “travels with my father” with jack Whitehall! Catch you all later xx #risotto #recovery #recovering #recoverywin #edrecovery #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #realrecovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #recoverywarrior #beatana #fuckana #anawho #anawarrior #edwarrior #edfighter #edsoldier #edfamily #edfam #mentalhealthawareness #orthorexia #eatittobeatit #nourishnotpunish #prorecovery

#dinner I’m honestly very anxious. I feel like I’m drowning and can’t breathe, my body hurts and aches and I’m scared of dying.
Isn’t life just swell

I may or may not be slightly obsessed with cats.... Some day maybe I’ll be able to add kittens of my own to the mix.

Evening everyone 🌃 hope you all have had a fab day today! I'm off now to paint my nails 💅 well after I have finished this bowl of rice krispies and cornflakes! Drowned in milk 🥛 and a green tea 🍵 time for some evening positivity ✨ what has your ED really done for you? Have a good think! 🤔 I can't think of one good thing!!! Because all the positives are immediately destroyed and you end up feeling worst! So why do we do keep doing it? The answer is because WE KNOW IT! IT'S SAFE! but in all honesty it's far from safe! It's the most deadly thing we do! So it's time to break that cycle! Try something different and yes you will feel worst as first but just like that feeling of positivity it will go! And it will be replaced with happiness!! So it's time to do OPPOSITE ACTIONS!!! ✨ I hope you all have a fab evening and sleep well xxx goingtoeatwhatiwantto#recoveryispossible#recovery#prorecovery#recoveryistheonlyoption#countblessingsnotcalories#curvesnotcalories#curvesnotbones#healthynothungry#determined#anorexic#eatingdisorderrecovery#edfighter#edsoldier#fighter#nevergiveup#nomoreanorexia#nourishnotpunish#strongnotskinny#charversesana#edcommunity#eatclean#cleaneating#edfamily#realrecovery#f4f#recoverywin#eatittobeatit#fuckana#gainingweightiscool

Good evening guys!
Cheeky throwback to this Toffee Crisp Honeycomb bar 😻
Todays been a busy day... spent the morning at a hospital appointment followed by an afternoon running round for stuff for my mums birthday this weekend.. Found a cake that i know she will love.. (Find it on my story and tell me what you think🤤) Its a salted caramel meringue cake and it looks amazing🤩🍰
-#sweettooth#foodiegram#mentalhealth#caramel#macros#cookie#edwarrior #sweets#edrecovery #anarecovery#honey#fuel#prorecovery #candy#getinmybelly#anorexiarecovery#iifym#cream#cakes#eatingfortheinsta#foodies#igfood#ilovefood#nestle#edsoldier#foodgram#munchies#eatingdisorderrecovery#foodphoto#snack

Heeeerlijke lunch gehad met @fennafights bij @bylima.haarlem❤️ Ik had 2 bruine boterhammen met mangohummus, avocado🥑, een tomatensalsa🍅, mais🌽 en koriander, was echt heeeeul lekker!!
Daarna samen met Fen naar de theewinkel geweest (god, kan nooit een keer zonder thee naar buiten komen🤭🙈) en daarna nog even gechilled in mijn huisje🙆🏼‍♀️
Overigens gaat het best goed met me, mijn mood is goed en mijn gewicht is nu (redelijk) stabiel dus hopelijk kan ik dat houden tot in ieder geval de intake bij Emergis maandag over een week👏🏽

(This may be triggering for some 💕) In both of these photos I am struggling. But on the left, I was one month into ‘recovery’- I was constantly skimping on food, lying to my family and secretly exercising. On the right I am putting up a fight, challenging thoughts and learning to nourish my body. Looking at these photos, I’ve seen how far I’ve come not only physically but mentally. In 7 months Ive been able to gain 6kg & I have 7kg to go until I’m weight restored :) it has been a very bumpy road but I’ve made it this far and grown as a person because of it. I still have far to go mentally but I’m not as spaced out, cold and anxious as I used to be. I have made many achievements, from holding a conversation with someone to challenging fear foods which have made me stronger and happier. Though I am napping a lot (which is a huge win for me) I have more energy to do things like going out to see my friends and going for little walks down my street. On the left, I was almost sleep walking everywhere, my long, tiring walks and runs were fuelled by only a couple grapes or half of a small apple. I have now learnt to fuel my body properly on active and non active days. I’m going to keep going, I will fight through my relapse urges, re-feed my body and see where it takes me. / I hope you’ve had a lovely day 💛 (I was really nervous to post this)
#ed #edrecovery #edfam #edsoldier #edsoldier #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #anawho #anorexia #anaisnotme #anafighter #anarecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexiafighter #anorexianervosarecovery #anorexiawarrior #nourishnotpunish #nourishtoflourish

Looks like I'm eating a whole avocado today - half for my waffles and breakfast and now the other half for my favorite tuna salad at lunch 🥗🐟🥑
Whole can @chickenoftheseaofficial tuna + 1/2 mashed @avocadosfrommexico + @fage plain Greek yogurt + chopped cucumber and celery + dill + celery seed + @woodstockfoods sunflower seeds and pepitas + @sunmaid raisins + @oceansprayinc craisins + romaine lettuce + cucumber + celery + carrots + oven baked brussel sprouts + more seeds and dried fruits + @somersaultlife sea salt somersaults + @kindsnacks maple pumpkin seed healthy grains bar
#lunch #salad #tuna #avocado #greekyogurt #tunasalad #dill #healthy #food #seeds #gains #driedfruit #protein #pumpkin #granolabar #sunflower #ed #recovery #motivation #edsoldier #prorecovery #health #fitness #foodisfuel #strongnotskinny #fitnotthin #balancednotclean #weightrestored

Today i really want to be honest to you!
My particular brand of anxiety is “high-functioning,” meaning that my symptoms are masked in overdoing, overthinking, and overperforming.
for a long time, i didn’t recognize that working so hard and caring so much were wearing me down.
they seemed like positive traits, not symptoms of a disorder, which is what makes it so difficult to spot.
but with high-functioning anxiety, no success is ever enough to quiet the fear. behind every perfect presentation and flawless project was a mountain of worry. i was plagued with guilt that i hadn’t done enough, or hadn’t done it soon enough, or hadn’t done it well enough. i lived for the approval of others and spent countless hours trying to perform at an impossible standard that my own anxiety had created. no matter how hard i worked or how proud i was of my achievements, the anxious part of my brain would scrutinize, criticize, and patronize me.
and, worst of all, i suffered in silence. i didn’t tell my friends or family. my fear of judgement and misunderstanding was too big. the only way i knew how to deal with my symptoms was to try a little harder and never slow down.
But than...I passed my A-Level Exam in June. And now everything is much easier!!! But to be honest I‘m afraid of the future😬 just because I start going to university in October...

First time working out in like 2 months... so the default was a circuit workout 👌😅 try it out below!
🔸warmup treadmill 10-15 mins
🔹burpees with push-up
🔹mountain climbers
🔹jumping jacks
🔹tuck jump
🔹high knees
🔹squat jumps
🔹plank hold
Set a timer and do each move for 30 seconds, then 30 seconds rest before moving on to the next one. During my rest time I may have thrown in a few pushups or jumping jacks in between to keep moving 😜 do 3-4 rounds! 🔸after that do a cool down on the treadmill for 10 mins and stretchhhhh 👌 WOOOPWOOP! #twizzlersforlife

Good evening guyys 💫
This is going to be my nightsnack today 😏 The whole package of this ‚Werther‘s Original‘ caramel and pretzel popcorn (SOO EXCITED TO TRY THIS 🙏🏻🙏🏻), an ‚Ehrmann‘ popcorn salted caramel dessert mousse and a ‚Cadbury Wispa‘ caramel and chocolate bar 😍

I‘m just back home from the dinner at the restaurant with my grandparents (challenge accomplished 💁) and all in all had a wonderful day today 🌈 the morning with my brother and the evening with my grandparents showed me again how important REAL relationships in life are and how important FAMILY in life is.
We have to figure out which people are good for us, for our recovery, who support us, who help us and who give us the feeling of being loved unconditionally 🙌🏻
It takes time so figure out. But I promise that there are those people. You just have to allow yourself to find them. To get help. And to open up YOURSELF 😌

OKAY guys, that is my realization of today’s family time 🙃 I will take a quick shower now, make myself a relaxed evening and of COURSE end the day up with this heavenly nightsnack later 😁👌🏻
I hope you had a nice day as well and are all fine 💕
See you tomorrow and ALWAYS STAY STRONG 💪🏻 Bye bye honeybees 🍯🐝

Florida day 2 (continued)
After another full day at universal we headed back to the hotel to rest for a bit before heading out to dinner. On this particular night Mum really wanted to try the Olive Garden as a friend had recommended it to her and it was really close to our hotel. I didn’t really know what food they served but I truly didn’t give it much thought as I assumed I’d find something. By the time we got there it was 8pm and we were told it would be a 40min wait for a table. This immediately gave me anxiety at the thought of how late we’d be eating but I pushed through and told mum and dad it was fine. While we waited we got a drink at the bar and a waitress showed us a menu, at first glance all I could see was pasta dishes and alarm bells started ringing *MAJOR FEAR FOODS* I began to panic...A LOT. I tried to keep calm as best I could but I actually had to escape to the toilets for a bit just to try and calm myself down/try to prevent tears in public. When I returned I asked Mum and dad would it be okay if I had something from the kids menu...not ideal but better than nothing. But my parents could still tell even with that I wasn’t calming down any and they really didn’t want me to only have a child’s portion because obviously recovery doesn’t happen doing that. So in the end we left and I felt horrible. My dad kept telling me to stop apologising as he’d rather me feel comfortable with where we ate but I still felt terrible. We tried another restaurant but by this stage it was 20:30 and it would be an hour wait for a table. Again this only made me feel worse as everyone was so hungry. In the end we opted for TGI fridays as there was only a 20minute wait and my parents knew I could eat an adult portion there. I went for the fish and chips again but it was harder to eat this time. I think it was just from being so anxious/guilty for so long that evening and the fact it was 10pm by the time we got our food. Not ideal especially when anorexia tries to put crazy thoughts in my head but again nothing bad happened from eating at this time. I didn’t gain a crazy amount of weight. I didn’t actually gain any weight. Anorexia is so manipulative! I went to bed

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