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Last Saturday I walked down my favourite binge food aisle in the shop. And I was STRESSED. And it struck me that a year ago I wouldn't have walked through, I would have stopped and picked up everything I 'needed' to make myself feel better. A year ago it was inevitable that despite starting off in recovery I would have ended up with my head in the toilet if I was hit with overwhelming stress of anxiety. And that had been my life since I learnt what purging was.
Today that seems lightyears away. I can't imagine doing it now nor can I remember connect with the version of myself who did that.
I can remember, I can understand, but I can't connect anymore. I'm too far away to reach out and rush the girl in my past.
I didn't think this would ever be possible. Not in a million years.
But I'm sitting here writing this and this is who I am today.
#edwarrior #recovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #selflove #bodypositive #fitnessjourney #fitnesslife #fitfam #transformation #weightgain #anorexiarecovery #mentalhealth

Met sore guys, sore ini aku nyobain @cirengguyur_ ini jd kayak makanan instan tp gk instan2 amat 😆 jd cirengnya kita goreng sendiri dulu,trus kuahnya tinggal tambah air panas sekitar 200 ml, utk cirengnya enak tebel bgt, n kuahnya gurih pedes,cocok banget buat kalian yg doyan pedes😊 #jktinstafood
📍 @cirengguyur_
🏠 Pengiriman dr tangerang selatan

▪️This was not an easy picture to create and an even harder caption to write
▫️My own struggles with disordered eating and body image has been a daily battle for me since I was about 15 years old
▪️I was 22 in this first photo and had put on unwanted weight after being fairly underweight for some time. Simply put, I was hungry. So I ate. And I never knew when to stop. I ate, abused exercise, and after a binge would starve for a while.
▫️The second photo I was 25, and thought I was very healthy being this lean, I counted calories and made sure I was always in a deficit, I obsessed over numbers, I was 'small' and had 'abs'. But, I was still hungry.
▪️The third photo is today. Am i recovered? Physically, yes. I take care of my body, feed it when hungry, and exercise regularly for enjoyment. But what about mentally?
▫️Honestly, when taking this picture today I felt fabulous, fit, strong, and beautiful. But then I put it next to the first photo and my first thought was 'omg I don't even look any different, my legs are still chunky and my abs aren't popping (lighting) and my hips look wide'. I felt 22 and broken again.
▪️Then I added the middle photo and my old eating disorder thoughts popped up like that stupid whack a mole game at the arcade and I just couldn't hit them on the head fast enough, so they snuck in.
▫️Do you ever fully recover from an eating disorder? Do you ever fully recover from any mental illness? I believe that by posting this photo, despite my reservations and my self doubt, I am continuing my own recovery.
▪️I believe that by posting this I can help someone else understand that there is no perfection at the end of progress. There is just always continued progress. And that is, and always will be, enough. Because I am enough. I am worthy. I am happy. And I am proud of my own journey.
▫️So, dumbass whack a mole thoughts, here's me thumping you on the head with a big ass hammer.
▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️#eatingdisorderrecovery #wellness #psychstace #keepingitreal #dedicated #bodytransformation #transformationtuesday #strongnotskinny #bbg #bodygoals #fitness #inspo #kaylaitsines #progressnotperfection

Why dream when you can DO.
You're in control. It's your life.
You can live it like you want to.
You can change your habits.
You can make excuses or you can make changes.
The photo on the left is me at 180 pounds; not happy with myself.
The photo on the right is me at 140 pounds; happy with myself.
Before I lost weight I avoided photos, I avoided gatherings, I avoided family and friends. I was scared that they'd see me and say "you got fat", "you gained weight", "you look different".
I had an eating disorder that many won't understand; binge eating.
I ate 3,000-5,000 calories some days until I made myself sick, while on others I dieted (starved myself) out of guilt, shame, fear of another stretch mark appearing or of my clothes not fitting anymore.
My mom would always ask if I was pregnant; truth is I ate to the point that my stomach could expand and make me appear 6 months pregnant.
I made a lot of excuses.
"I'll start tomorrow"
"I'll start tomorrow"
Everyday I would "start tomorrow".
Then I realized what if I didn't have too many tomorrows left? What if I was allowing myself to live unhappy with my body everyday and simply putting my happiness off for a tomorrow that I wouldn't even be sure if it'll come.
Your happiness is a priority. Taking care of your body is a priority. DO NOT PUT YOURSELF OFF FOR TOMORROW. Make changes TODAY for your health physically and most importantly mentally.
Don't seek perfection; seek a balance. Seek a healthy relationship with food and a healthy relationship with your body.
DON'T ALLOW YOUR EATING DISORDER TO CONTROL YOU. You are capable of overcoming it and you are stronger than it.
#eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #bingeeatingdisorder #bingeeating #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery

I want you to look very closely at both of these photos.
Both of them are my body (obviously). Some of you may look at them and think, “she looks so much more ____ in this photo.”
The purpose of these photos isn’t to say, “look at how BAD I can make my body look in this position,” or “look how GOOD my body looks here,” but I know many people now are posting photos with that mentality. And that’s so incredibly damaging. Because to imply that is to imply that the larger body is the bad one, and the smaller one is good.
To use these photos to demonstrate “good” vs “bad” posing is to REINFORCE the fat-phobic mentality we’ve all grown up surrounded by. But that’s not why I post this.
Both of these photos show my real body. They both show a conventionally attractive, thin, white woman who’s body isn’t two-dimensional. By looking at these photos, you can see the way that posing allows my body to look different one way versus another.
You can also see YOUR OWN THOUGHT PROCESS as you compare the two. Do you see one as better or more attractive? Is one more “flattering”? What does that mean to you?
What you CAN’T see here is the girl learning every day to love her body and live a life free from her eating disorder. You can’t see the way I would have, years ago, looked at this first photo and cried, or vowed to “do better.” Because when all we see is thin bodies in ‘perfect poses,’ we don’t believe that anything other than that is acceptable. We don’t believe that thin bodies should ever look anything other than their photoshopped, altered, tweaked and twisted FaceTuned distortions.
When all we see are weight loss before and afters, we associate the bigger body with the worse one, and the smaller body with the goal.
Our bodies are magic. They can transform in front of our eyes, with a simple change in heart.
Today I encourage you to consider: how would you view yourself in your “worst” angle, if you weren’t taught to pose?
How would you love yourself if you were fully allowed to?
#fatphobia #respect #selfloveisthebestlove #mirrorselfie

Supporting someone struggling with their mental or physical health in small ways — like simply listening and acknowledging the struggle — can sometimes makes all the difference. Tag a friend and remind them that you’re there for them, no matter what. ❤️ Drawing by @josie.doodles •••
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #depression #anxiety #chronicillnesswarrior #mentalhealthrecovery #invisibleillness #chronicillness #mentalillness #mentalillnessawareness #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #ptsd #bipolar #fibromyalgia #cancer #fibro #chronicpain #invisibleillnessawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthwarrior #themighty #themightysite

Having bipolar disorder can be a real pain, but it doesn’t keep me down.
I REFUSE to let it beat me.
I REFUSE to let it control me.
I REFUSE to let it own me.
I am strong, tough, brave (to a point I mean I’d never mess with a spider) and resilient.
Being diagnosed with a mental illness and being told it cannot be cured can be quite daunting, but it doesn’t mean you can’t live a happy, full life.
I am still a happy person.
I am still Liv. ❤️


After a hospital appointment (3rd in 9 days) a nice walk through the park with my boyfriend. #love #autumn #hospital #anorexia #eatingdisorderrecovery

I ate earlier than I wanted to cause I wanted to do it before anyone else got up lol. Anyway. I had a peach (fresh from the farmer's market!) and a piece of thin sliced toast with a bit of prickly pear jam that one of my roommates gave me☺️💗 it was really good! Plus coffee obviously. Today I'm going to try to figure out the bus system, the fitness classes/gym hours, and check out the clubs again. The two I wanted to join weren't at the fair, so hopefully they will be today or I can get some info on how to find them. I'm anxious as always. Oh well. Classes start tomorrow, and I'm so scared that I'm not smart enough😞 Guess we'll find out🤷🏼‍♀️

🍴391 kcal
Gordon Ramsey who?? Martha Stewart who?? Guy Fieri who?? They neeD TO MOVE ON OVER BECAUSE THERE'S A NEW CHEF IN TOWN 👨🏻‍🍳
Tonight's #dinner was ramen in a mild Japanese curry sauce, with broccoli, fava beans, spinach and veggie "fish" balls 🍜✨ it tasted so so so good !! It was quite nice being able to cook for myself and not stressing so much about unknown calories, but I do understand that nights like aren't very helpful in my recovery process 😅 -
#dinner #prorecovery #positivity #eatittobeatit #recovery #ednos #ed #fooddiart #eatingdisorder #instantramen #tea #supper #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfam #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #edsoldier #nourishnotpunish #realrecovery #realcovery #healthynothungry #nourishtoflourish #recoveringdutchie

It's up! Lacy Davis and Jim Kettner join us to talk about their new graphic memoir, Ink in Water. We talk #eatingdisorderrecovery, punk, small press publishing, and 💕loooove💕. Don't miss it!

increased #breakfast !!!! bran flakes (my bae 😍) and a blueberry bagel, 1 with PB and 1 with cream cheese .
I feel guilty because I wanted more than just this (I wasn’t even physically hungry when I wanted more though????) but I knew if I ate more, i’d regret it later and hate myself more than I do right now 🤷🏻‍♀️ .
. ..
#eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #recovery #edrecovery

#dinner yesterday was chicken satay with rice and Asian vegetables😍
I swear today was the most stressful day in my life! Homework in every subject, a test was announced for the day after tomorrow about vocabulary we don't exactly know, an exam is coming up on Friday and I have some things to do for therapy.😑
Hope Zumba class will help to calm me now 💪
#recovery #realrecovery #recoverydiary #realrecoverydiary #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #anawho #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eating #foodisfuel #embracethesquish #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #edfighter #edwarrior #foodie #boobsnotbones #nourishtoflourish #2fab4ana #toofab4ana #weightrestored #ed #edrecovery #weightrestoration

Dinner tonight was 6 (!!l) yes that's right 6 fish fingers, jacket potato and a whole tom (!!) Of carrots... feel so poorly bit why should that stop me SLAYING the beast named anorexia #recovery #repair #beatana #strongnotskinny #smashingana #healthyandhappyme #balanced #anorexia #anorexiarecovry #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #fightingback

Oven dish! Roasted eggplant, filled with quinoa, chopped tomatoes and onion. And arugola😏

As many of you will now know, I really struggled in my late teens and early twenties with an eating disorder. One of the characteristics of this was binge eating, where I would have episodes of excessive eating, consuming massive quantities of food in a very short space of time, even when I wasn't hungry. I would then feel very ashamed, and guilty, and then punish myself with extreme dieting and over exercising.
So in this post, I basically want to talk to you about some of the causes of binge eating, in particular the things I had a hard time with, and provide you with some useful tools to help. I want to add here, that if you are going through a challenging time with any of the things mentioned, please know you are not alone in your battles, and you can message me anytime to talk….
1. Labeling Foods. This was a big one for me. I used to label foods as good and bad. To me, chicken rice and broccoli was good, and chocolate was bad. Whenever I would consume ‘bad foods’ it lead to a landslide effect, with the feeling that the diet had been ruined. I’d then binge.
It’s the idea that because I’ve eaten a muffin, I’ve gone off track and now, as a result, I may as well eat the other 3 in the packet, and a takeaway and a bottle of wine as punishment. I would then find myself in a vicious cycle of being ‘on a diet’ which was really really strict and ‘off a diet’ or ‘binging’. #
Instead, for long term sustainability, It is important to incorporate your favourite foods all the time, IN MODERATION and feel good about doing it. This stops anxiety and worry over eating foods we feel we ‘cant’ or ‘shouldn’t’ have. It eliminates the need for extremes like ‘cheat days’ and ‘cheat meals’ and instead, turns what you're doing into a lifestyle approach, not a ‘diet’. #
2. Perfectionism. I am definitely a recovering perfectionist! I still have to really catch myself out at times…With regards to binging, the perfectionist loses sight of the big picture (read the rest on my Facebook page www.facebook.com/rorybrownfitness) #eatingdisorder #awareness #picoftheday

❥ avokadomackor slår aldrig fel. Och med generösa mängder ruccola: fem av fem avokadohalvor 🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑

Productive Tuesdays
Program writing, session planning, client updating, event planning, training clients 👌🏻
Absolutely love feeling productive and getting stuff done! I hope your day is as productive as mine 🎊
#swissfitgirls #girlswholift #lausanne #iifym #swissfitness #bikikicompetitor #fitfam #fitness #morningshape
#bikikicompetitor # #ifbbbikini #bbggirls #bbgprogress #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatforabs #eattogrow #bodybuilding #fitgirls #fitspo #messybun #gettingstuffdone #productivity #quotes #quotestoliveby #inspirationalquotes

Class was done early today and I actually got to eat lunch at home for once! I had my usual sandwich with strawberries and yogurt 😊
I'm really enjoying classes, but it's definitely hard that I'm commuting and don't really know many people there 😔I know that the faster I can get back to a healthy weight (which I'm not too far off of) the faster I can actually live at uni and meet new people, so I just gotta keep pushing myself and remember what my goal is! .
#recovery #anorexiarecovery #ed #edrecovery #edwarrior #eatingdisorderrecovery #anarecovery #anorexia #ana #edfamily #mentalillness #beatana #recoveryispossible#fearfood #recoverywin #eatingdisorder #edfam #healthynotskinny #foodisfuel #fightmentalilness #beatanorexia #instafood

@simplyxena I understand your anger now.
Someone in my family took the cashew cheese I made from scratch with the ingredients I paid for out of MY pocket.
I'm angry and will find the culprit. 😠
Otherwise good day and good food although my sandwich is MISSING MY CASHEW CHEESE!
#plantbased #vegan #vegangirl #yummy #delicious #food #foodporn #soup #rawvegan #lunch #avocadotoast #ana #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #mia #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #ed #edrecovery #ednos #ednosrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #like4like #likeforlike #happy #balancednotclean

Last week I incorporated some art work into therapy. I challenged myself, clients, and my kiddos to paint a rock based on a quote or mantra that was important in their recovery or life in general. I need to seal these and a few will be placed around my office building. My hope is that someone that is struggling with body image and self worth will find these and feel empowered. Recovery is possible! Photos taken with permission!

So excited to announce my women's therapy group starts next week! Not only was group instrumental in my sobriety but it's honestly where the ✨MAGIC✨ of transformation happens! Please like and share if you know anyone who would benefit/ is interested! For details or to reserve your spot please DM me or email amanda@amandaewhite.com

Coming for all the things they said I couldn't have •

#bikinifitness #bikiniprep #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery

The many faces of Liv...#transformationtuesday 👀

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