I had a very non-highlight reel day today and for the sake of honesty and accountability, I'm going to share it. I've been working 12 hour days for a few weeks now. My husband stayed home sick from work and is the biggest baby when he's not feeling well and to be blunt, I'm too busy to baby him right now. On Wednesday's I normally work from home and my daughter doesn't go to daycare, and having him home coughing all over and laying on the couch in the living room just threw off our whole routine. I wanted to snap out of it and get her away from the germs, so I loaded her in the car and we drove 1.5 hours away to take photos for one of the claims I'm working on at work. As we were turning to head home, she threw up. I stopped and realized that I didn't have wipes or anything to clean her up OR a change of clothes in my diaper bag. Luckily it was just on her shirt, so I took that off and put my sweater across her as a blanket to keep her warm and she was fine. But I beat myself up the whole drive home...for dragging her out with me, for not being prepared. When I got back into cell phone range, I had 9 voicemails and 11 emails that had come in on the drive. I was hungry, irritable, tired, frustrated and just felt like a failure. I stopped at a gas station and binged on junk and mid-binge, looked up in my rear view mirror and caught my daughter's eye, and just thought "I do not want you to remember me like this" and then I felt even more terrible and started bawling. So here we were in a car that reeked like puke, with a half naked baby wrapped in a sweater, and a crying woman covered in crumbs. 😂 It truly was the lowest I've felt in a really long time, if ever. Sometimes the best thinking for me comes after a good cry, because I realized a couple things: 1️⃣ I really don't want her to remember me like this and something has got to change, permanently. 2️⃣ I'm not feeling stressed and overwhelmed by these silly daily frustrations; I have some bigger things in my life I need to address and change. 3️⃣ Food addiction is real and I'm in the throes of it, and this is also something I need to address. I can't just lose weight; I need to work on the mental stuff too.