Today marks the end of a terrible academic term and the beginning of a curious new adventure.
University has been so tough this first semester. I have forgotten nearly everything from first year and am struggling to take in anything now this year. At the same time, I've been juggling two separate lives, two different jobs, two linked diagnoses, weekly support sessions, some long workshops, numerous medical appointments, a near non-existent social life, a year-long advocacy war, and general lack of sleep - all while trying to keep and maintain my home. I failed both my mock exam and my competencies. I failed myself.
However, from those failings and epic 30mins of crying, it's come to attention that I need [extra] support with my learning. It makes me feel slow and dumb but I know that's not the case - it's just how my brain is wired. I do things differently. I learn differently. I'm just... Different. The real exams are in less than a month and I've been given a chance to redo the comps then too so this next month will be the hardest I've ever had to revise. It's scary but it needs to be done.
Before I turn into a book-dragon though, I'm taking 4 days off to shut down and reboot myself - I'm on my way to Düsseldorf! This is my first time going solo on a plane and to a foreign country. Excited doesn't even cut it. Nervous doesn't either, my stomach aches from worry but I know as soon as I get in that hotel, I'll be fine. I don't know what to expect but I do know I'll be winging it like last year's Reading Festival. I have my music, drawing pad, paint brushes, and elephant hot water bottle. Whatever happens, it's gonna be awesome, I know it. I just hope I don't get searched because I put everything in labeled plastic freezer bags... Even my shoes... Separately... #winter #wales #today #university #struggle #learning #life #job #support #social #sleep #home #fail #different #revision #dragon #holiday #adventure #dusseldorf #solo #curious #music #draw #paint #bees