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#dont_gaslight_me_bruh

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Be careful who you trust with your mental health.
If you've ever attempted therapy during or after narcissistic abuse, you may have realized how shockingly little the psychotherapy world seems to know about this surprisingly common abuse.

Finding a therapist who truly understands the seriousness of NPD, as well as being extensively knowledgeable about the devastating effects this relentless and repetitive hidden abuse has on victims (C-PTSD/PTSD) is vital.

And sorry to sound like a broken record but I’ve got to get this through - if you have a narcissistic spouse or lover, NEVER EVER GO TO COUPLES THERAPY WITH THE ABUSER! ⚠️
These types can con absolutely anyone, even psychiatrists. They’re able to deceive professionals with their facade in exactly the same way they convince family, friends and business associates that they're wonderful people. Therapists who really ‘get’ narcissism would never even suggest bringing your abuser, it’s a mammoth red flag if they suggest ‘working together to patch things up between you.’ 🤯

The same applies to bringing abusive family members too, NEVER DO IT! ⚠️
On a lighter note, here are some ‘epic therapy fails’ I'd like to share with you all - some are my own experiences, others happened to a friend:
1. After disclosing a major traumatic abuse incident, the therapist responded with 'but all families have arguments!'
2. In the midst of a talk about depression, therapist said 'I feel depressed today too!'
3. Therapist fell asleep!
4. Therapist could never remember ANYTHING about a MAJOR abuse backstory. All sessions were spent recapping the story from scratch.
5. *No tissues in the room*
6. Explaining a certain narcissist’s silent treatment was met with 'well it sounds like he respects your boundaries!'
7. 'But only 0.00001% of the general population are sociopaths'.
8. Therapist told a pal to get back into a very toxic on/off relationship!
9. 'Oh don't be stupid, of course your (narc!) mother loves you!'
10. 'I can pass on your phone number to another client of mine, he's really nice, I think you two would hit it off!'
11. 'It's not really abuse, it's the way you're perceiving things.’
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This is a great tool for managing C-PTSD/PTSD symptoms, it can also be used anytime you need to stay calm. 💚
In case you were wondering, PTSD is induced by a one time traumatic event such as a car crash.
Complex-PTSD is brought on by prolonged exposure to repetitive and relentless trauma such as child abuse, or being married to an abuser.
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While less pro-active in joining the abuse parade than obvious flying monkeys, an enabler is the epitome of a cowardly fence sitting silent bystander, afraid to step in and do the right thing because they’re scared of the narcissist’s wrath.
They will sit back as the chief abuser executes their despicable deeds claiming to be ‘neutral’, or ‘not wanting to get involved’, yet will vehemently shout down the victim should they dare to call out the abuse.
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Toxic parents also comprare and rank at every opportunity but I’ll make a separate post on that.
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Please remember - panic attacks, depression and anxiety are NOT a sign of weakness!
As survivors of prolonged, ongoing, and repetitive abuse we are typically left with a plethora of unpleasant and sometimes terrifying PTSD/C-PTSD symptoms to cope with.
People who are ignorant about abuse and C-PTSD may invalidate you by saying things like “snap out of it!”, “it’s mind over matter!”, “you’re doing this for attention!” or “you could control it if you wanted to!” But unfortunately as we know all too well, C-PTSD doesn’t come with an on/off button, and it only takes one unexpected trigger out of left field to induce our symptoms, derailing an otherwise good day.

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After all the abuse you’ve endured, you deserve to be believed!
This is a safe place, we all believe you here. 💚
IG: @dont_gaslight_me_bruh

Narcissistic parents will typically live vicariously through the golden child whilst constantly degrading the scapegoat.
However, in some toxic families the roles will get switched around at random depending on what suits the narcissist’s narrative.
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Narcissists simply cannot be reasoned with, they enjoy baiting people into circular arguments to garner narcissistic supply.
They love to see you running round and round in circles on the proverbial hamster wheel trying to prove a negative! 🤯
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Just a little no contact refresher. 💚
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Narcissists get to ‘keep their hands clean’ when they enlist flying monkeys to execute their abuse.
Flying monkeys are extremely toxic, sneaky and cowardly people with a pack mentality who act on behalf of the malignant narcissist to abuse a third party, I truly believe most of them are low key narcissists themselves.
These types are typically the family members or cronies of the chief narcissist, but even everyday people in their community can be recruited to spectate or join in with ‘mobbing’ a victim.
They become sycophants to the chief narcissist, and will aggressively silence the victim whilst defending the narcissist if anyone dares to challenge them.
They will also be sent to gain personal information about a target through spying, confronting face to face, guilt tripping, or emails - especially if a 'no contact' boundary was recently implemented.
The ‘flying monkey’ name of course comes from 'The Wizard Of Oz’ film, whereby the wicked witch sends flying monkeys to execute her evil deeds.
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Being an unloved scapegoated daughter of a severely abusive narcissistic family never stops hurting.
Only in recent years am I truly understanding the full extent of the damage they’ve caused.
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Anyone else experienced this when calling them out?
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Couched compliments - make no mistake about it, those subtle put-downs are intentional.
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Wishing all my fellow survivors a very Happy (NARC-FREE!) New Year filled with peace, hope, joy, and happiness! 🎊🎇🎉🎆🥂
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Yet another gaslighting tactic utilized by narcissists.
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Here are some of the devastating psychological and emotional effects a victim may experience during and after being repetitively gaslit by an abuser.
Narcissists will sometimes gaslight their victims in the most literal sense (as depicted in the 1944 film ‘Gaslight’) by discarding, moving, or hiding the target’s belongings. As if it couldn’t get any sicker, the abuser might even ‘help’ the victim to search for the items!
Gaslighting has to one of the most traumatizing aspects of narcissistic abuse because the victim is insidiously brainwashed by design to doubt their own perception before they even realize what's going on, ultimately making them easier to control.
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Abusers will make you squash your feelings down unless it somehow serves them.
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You know the ones I'm talking about?
Those friends and aquaintences who aren't quite flying monkeys, and don't necessarily fraternize with the narcissist, but distance themselves from us nonetheless.
Perhaps because they don't want to get involved, or maybe knowing we've been abused makes THEM feel awkward, so for THEIR COMFORT they keep their distance!
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This disturbingly sinister grin just shows you how much they enjoy garnering narcissistic supply from inflicting pain or getting one over on others.
Sometimes narcissists will even chuckle too, as if they're having their own little private joke with themselves.
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I hope everyone has had a peaceful Christmas whatever your current contact status. 🙏🙏🙏
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