Start to understand that feelings are much more than just the amorphous clouds of pain or pleasure that they feel like when you're in them; start to see those clouds as mere surfaces, concealing complex and highly specific configurations of memories and obsolete assumptions and vestigial unfulfilled desires and lingering residues of people and things you used to love, all hooked into one another and pulled taut like a cats cradle whose total shape sometimes flashes in your mind for a moment all at once.
Notice that the experience of these moments of gestalt illumination reminds you a little of what it used to feel like to fall in love, before love turned into terror and finally burned itself out, except now it's not scary or overwhelming so much as gently rewarding, something like the feeling of solving a challenging but still low- key riddle.
Keep feeling out, little by little, the inner structures of the emotions that once ruled you. As you explore, start to feel them coalesce into something solid and unmoving.
Start to understand that the solid and unmoving thing was there all along, waiting patiently for you to notice it. Realize you have already begun to think of it as home. Realize that this arrival, which is what people mean when they talk about finding yourself, is not an end but a beginning. You have nailed down the vital center, now for a lifetime of filling out the periphery.
Don't be overwhelmed by the abundance: your life has only just begun, and you have all the time in the world 🦋 #staywildmoonchild