'Is there a greeting card for "sorry I isolated myself for a month, I was having a depressive episode, and it'll definately happen again"?' So as most of you won't know, last month I spent nearly 3 weeks in hospital. Things were getting harder and harder, then suddenly I hit a point I had been at before, a point so low, I knew I needed help. I didn't want to keep going down that road. I knew where it would take me. So I did something I should have done last time I went in that direction. I asked for help.
Some of you understand this point. Some of you have been here. Some of you have seen someone get here. Some of you have heard stories, or know a friend of a friend. Some of you have gone past this point. And some of you, don't have a clue.
My mental health isn't as good as social media tends to portray. It's true when they say "dont believe what you see". I'm sick of people thinking "she's smiling, so everything must be ok". I'm tired of "you look great today, so you are obviously fine!". Most of us who get to this point, have become pretty damn good at hiding it from the general population. In fact, we hide it from everyone. Our co-workers. Our class mates. Our social circle. Our close friends. We even hide it from our families. Sure, once in a while, we crack. Our masks are crooked and fall off. But we just say that it's fine, nothing major, we will just sleep it off and tomorrow it will be another day. I know I have.
Maybe we do it because we don't want to feel like a burden. Maybe we do it because you won't react well. Maybe we do it because it's less difficult than opening up about it. Maybe we do it because according to society, its "weak". Maybe we do it because you won't understand. Maybe we do it because we are ashamed. Maybe we do it because "it's selfish".
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