Boy oh boy, this December is rocking the world. I thought I have had my lessons of this year covered up in the previous months, it was a lot to take in! I could entertain myself with those for a while, trust me.
And now, here I am realizing that I was looking in the wrong direction for the wisdom that pervious years (!) have to offer me. The actual lessons are starting to present themselves now.
Love. That four letter word. How many theories have I read and memes have I seen about love. How many opinions and stories have I heard. How many thoughts and feelings have I had regarding love. How many times have I let love take me to places I have never been. This year I had reached a point where for a second, compared to the infinity that is, I had lost all my beliefs regarding love. Someone knocked me down so drastically, that I could only get back up by giving up everything I have ever believed about love and human decency. I was dead inside. I couldn't read any word that reminded me of love. I couldn't listen to any lovesong. I was so sick of it. I felt robbed of the ability to ever love again. To ever open up and trust someone again. To ever surrender to love again. I was done with love. I thought I must never ever let love take over and make me flow with it. I was so afraid to trust myself let alone the other person. I thought that the lesson was to stay in control, to guard my heart, to stay away from feelings, because they always get messy, disorganized. I wanted to uniform love and life into a tiny, little box and let it stay there. Hahaha, the universe must have been laughing hard at that attempt!
And now, the wisdom that slowly drips into my consciousness is full of fearlessness and love. I laugh at myself for trying to hold back whenever my heart is set on fire. I realize that I wasn't made that way. I don't shy away from loving. There is no danger in that. I see danger in never knowing love, in not following my heart, my dreams, my souls calling. To love is what I came here to do. That is my gift and no one ever can take that away from me. I am fierce and this wildfire inside will burn until my last breathe on this earth. *continue below 👇