This week, you guys. It’s been a weird combination of triggers and feeling super present. How do those two things coexist? Who the hell knows, but apparently they do. I’ve been trying to hold myself as emotionally steady as I can while working my way THROUGH the triggers. I don’t want to be a slave to something that keeps me from my own healing. Not ever. But I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty emotionally fluid on the regular. So it’s been a week of humility and growth 😏
Ok, so you know how something sparks an old wound, or fear, or thought process and then you start to create a narrative in your head that has absolutely nothing to do with reality? Yeah that’s a spiral, man. The other day @joannbauernews said that the narrative in our heads is THE. EGO. KEEPING. US. FROM. BEING. IN. THE. PRESENT. MOMENT. Damn babes, she named that one real quick.
So I’ve been thinking about that and letting it shape the way I respond to a crazy week. I’m still reclaiming myself and that shit takes an intense kind of self honesty. It’s not always pretty. It probably looks kind of erratic from the outside. It’s always going to be a complete willingness to stumble my way home to myself. The best thing I have ever done for myself was giving myself room to make mistakes, to embrace the dignity of my own human experience. I’m gonna fuck it all up - and it won’t be the first time - but I’ll always keep showing up. I’ll always do whatever it takes to live clear, and free, and wild, and whole. Even when it’s been a spiritually exhausting week, I’ll still be here. Healing.
And tomorrow night I’ll be curled back up with this chick, souls open wide, and love growing bigger. Forward movement. It’s ALWAYS forward movement.