When I first moved back into the USA I was in hiding. I moved as far away from LA as I could in fear of getting sucked back into the city in which I was afraid I would allow to destroy the practices that I now cherished more than anything in my life.
I had worked hard for years at this point, trying to stay on my path, focused, but the continual moving made it increasingly difficult and nestling back into my own country where my passport wouldn't be a ticking time bomb lured my thoughts to US soil.
I had discovered AcroYoga and fallen in love with it. While visiting south Florida, an area I never saw myself living, I established an expected connection and made the move. It was beautiful, quiet, and in the USA. I lived there for over five months before I built up the courage to visit my old stomping grounds. I needed to pack up my storage unit and relocate for good, but I was putting it off for more reasons than Instagram will give me room to explain.
Eventually, I made that trip west and it was much different than I expected. I was different. I didn't drink anymore and the bar I used to work at had sold, people had moved away, and my hobbies brought me out to 'the greens'. I discovered an entirely different Los Angeles than I'd ever seen before and I was shocked by the heartbreak I felt upon leaving, now with all of my belongings in tow.
Why had I tried so hard to rid myself of this city that I had convinced myself was toxic? Why was I now licking my wounds on the flight home, consoling myself while telling my battered soul that I had made the right decision? Why had it taken me seven years and six continents to find something that was right here all along?
I only lasted a little over month or so before I realized that where I was, wasn't taking me where I needed to go. I knew that I had one last mission to complete, I had to find where I belonged, within my own country. It was the wrong time of year and I didn't have enough money. I wasn't 'good enough' or 'smart enough' or 'strong enough' to do anything other than try my damned hardest to follow my dreams across the United States, so that's exactly what I did. -