ive been thinking about this a lot lately and all the support i felt the last time i posted this. also for new followers who may not know this yet, this is my story of the night i tried to kill myself. i was literally on the bathroom floor for hours naked, crying, sobbing, screaming, cutting every available piece of skin; drunk and delirious. there was blood everywhere. i was home alone. i didnt want to live. i was rocking back and forth, crying trying to find even one reason to stay alive. i couldn't find one. my mind was screaming at me all the reasons why i deserved to die, why i was worhtless and that i should just fucking end it all NOW! so i did. i swallowed every damn painkiller and pill i found, combined with 3/4 of a bottle of vodka and half a bottle of jack daniels and i sliced open my arteries. i felt no pain. no fear. just calm. my mind had finally shut up. everything was quiet. then i heard my dog whine. then she started going crazy at the door howling and scratching and jumping trying to get in. and hearing that the thought of leaving her broke my heart. she would never understand where i went and why i wont ever come back. so i managed to somehow pull myself up, puke out all the shit in my stomach, mostly stop the bleeding and let her in. i fell asleep/passed out with her in my arms. i was out for 26 hours. when i woke up the bathroom looked like a crime scene from american psycho. blood everywhere. i was lying in a puddle of blood and vomit. my dog had peed in the corner too. but she was still beside me and licking my face. she was trying to clean all the blood of me and comfort me. and i can't explain it even today, but it's like something shifted inside me and i knew that id pull through this. that i may keep on self harming but that i wouldn't try to kill myself again. and i haven't. and i'm glad that i didn't succeed. my dog saved my life. she's my guardian angel! and so are all of you now. this is all the names from a post a few months ago where i asked you to give me your name to write on my arm. it meant so much to me to have so much support and all y'all's love is in my heart and it's guiding me through everyday. thank you!