24 years ago my biological father was murdered in East Palo Alto, CA. March 29th, 1993 he was the first resident murdered that year...He was 16 years old...I was born April 9th, 1993; 2 days after he was laid to rest. My mother was 7 1/2 months pregnant with me, so of course I was born premature, but I was a solid 6 lbs. 12 Oz.
My entire life I only wanted to outlive him, and every year I got closer to that, but now that I'm older, and becoming a grown man this time of year is always a deep reminder that I have more than my life to live for. I have to be successful because I can't allow the one thing he made right go to waste. All I've ever wanted is to hear his voice, and see what it felt like to be held by him. I have his name, his heart, and his eyebrows 😂 but I will always want these two things more than anything in life. Not for anybody else, but for me as a person who's known the truth since 1 years old. I grew up with friends who would tell me I'm lucky to have a dad that loves and cares for me, and who's there, and yes I agree I was very blessed for having my pops raise me, but there will always be a part of me that's unsure if this is who I was meant to become. Why was I the lucky one? Why couldn't I meet him? Answers I'll never get, but for me I know he's been with me every step of the way. I can proudly say I've never been to prison or #CYA or even juvie. Growing up in the game you have to learn how to avoid losses, even though they come with this shit. I've never been the one to ask for much or take advantage of people. I give without wanting something in return, and I love people way too much. I won't say it's cause I'm human, but I will say it's because I was born with a loss already, and I had to find my own path, and my way to cope with it. Mom's would break down if I asked question, pops would be straight up with me and tell me how he was. I've heard 1000 stories of him being a true viking or SOLID. But it'll never change the fact that he would've been a totally different person with me, and I'd have my own stories to tell my children one day. I chased his image my entire life, in the end I paid for it, BUT ITS MY TURN NOW👌#rip #DarnellEwing