My heart is split in two. I’m smiling, yes it’s real. But I want to burst into tears. It all hurts. Only half hurts in the way everyone longs for deep down, that feeling of excitement so overwhelming it feels like you’re going to burst. But the other half feels like I’m being sent through hell. I’m yearning for death to take me, to set me free of this cruel chain called life. I lost the one I’d do anything and everything for. I lost my other half and now it’s really showing. But I’m falling, I’m falling into the deep pit called love. I’m scared, I’m thrilled and I never want to hit the bottom. But if and when I do, I know I’ll come out like the last time... bruised and cut and broken. It takes a long time to climb out of that pit. But once you hit the bottom you’re done. It’s over. The fall, the thrill... maybe you find everything you’re looking for but maybe you’re stuck with nothing.
I’m in pain.