I was honoured to be one of @valeriealison 's bridesmaids this past August. Taking part in your friends wedding can be a very special milestone for your relationship, in addition to the celebration of their marriage. It's important to talk to your friend about what their expectations are for your role as bridesmaid, and what you think you can afford both financially and in energy. Be realistic and upfront. As Val said on Monday, communicate all of this to the rest of the wedding party as well. Remember that the maid of honour coordinates the bridesmaids, so you need to have the conversation with them too.
Accept that you will probably have to say no, several times until the wedding. This will impact your friend, the wedding party, and yourself. It's going to suck. Then go back and read Valerie's post from Monday and remind yourself that you were chosen not for how useful you are to the wedding, but because of your friendship and their desire for you to be a part of their future.
Quite frankly, I don't think I can be a full bridesmaid again. Years ago, I read about honourary bridesmaids in Emily Post. An honourary bridesmaid takes part in the wedding day only. That way the expenses (money, energy, pain, and recovery days) are smaller, but you can still be part of your friends special day. This sounds more reasonable for me.
ID: Kat is sitting in a colourful armchair, with her head resting on one side. Her eyes are closed. "Disabled bridesmaid" is written in yellow on the corner.
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