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#cptsd

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Complex-PTSD affects us in profound ways, some of which we don't consciously realize or understand.
After having those dreaded narcissistic energy vampires feeding off of us for so long is it any wonder we are left depleted and with a permanently low battery?
Here are a few tips for a better sleep pattern:
- Sleeping pills are highly addictive and can even exacerbate your racing mind, as well as numerous other side effects. Try a natural alternative such as Valarian or melatonin. Always consult your doctor.👨🏻‍⚕️
- Stick to a regular bedtime and waking up time.⏰
- Ideally you need between 7-8 hours sleep per night.💤
- Avoid afternoon naps if possible but if you must, not longer than 45 min power nap.😴
- If you can't sleep, get up and do something, or read until you're sleepy.📖
- Avoid caffeine after lunchtime.☕️
- Do not eat a huge meal close to be bed time.🍝
- Exercise but not right before bed.🤸🏽‍♀️
- No electronics in the bedroom! 🚫📱💻 #dont_gaslight_me_bruh #woketonarcissism #selfcare #complexptsd #cptsd

I promised myself I’d have a good day but I don’t know what a good day is. I was numb all day doing whatever then a wave of sadness just washed over me. It’s not a “bad day” it’s just a day. I’ve been extremely angry lately. I feel angry right now but more so feel intense sadness mourning the loss of my life. My heart aches, I try not to cry but there is only so much I can hold back. I am lonely but I know I am not alone - that statement itself makes my heart sting a little more. I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy.

"No Country For Old Men" - highly recommend this book.
What book are you reading right now?
Just starting the first leg of my journey for the America seminars, really looking forward to delivering the new material 🙂

Flying from Manchester to Paris, then Paris to New York.
#cptsd #spartanlifecoach #cptsdrecovery #narcissisticabuse

Just as expected... this is unexpected. My painting is telling me stories and it makes connections for me. I communicate with it, but it's forms, symbols and patterns have a life of their own.

#healing #ptsd #cptsd #recovery #strength #painting #art #viktoriashushan #santafeart #artist #howtosantafe #simplysantafe #flowerpainting #magic #ugoloktvorchestva #blue #painting #painter

I went to therapy on Monday, I've been going to therapy since last December so it's coming up to nearly a year now.
This year in therapy has taught me so much, it's given me the space I've needed to talk freely, to learn to understand my emotions and how they have become so complex over the years, It's helped me come to a point in my life where I no longer think I am worthless.
I'm worthy of life.
I'm worthy of love.
I'm so worthy!
I showed my therapist the poem I wrote recently and she welled up, she said she could feel everything in the poem I was trying to get out and she could really feel the emotions.
She welled up when I was expressing how much I need to stop dragging myself through the mud for all the things I haven't achieved because this is the first year of my life where I have gotten real help and I should be proud of myself for still being here, I have genuinely achieved so much when I actually look at my life with open eyes.
My therapist is proud of me, and that feels good.
Im making progress, slowly but surely I'm making progress.
I want to live, I feel worthy of this life now.
Don't get me wrong I still need therapy, I still need support and the safe space I've created with my therapist to carry on progressing but I feel worthy of that now.
I still live with my mental illness, I still live with suicidal ideation, I still live with intense emotion, I still live with intense mood swings, i still live with all the symptoms of borderline personality disorder but that's not stopping me from wanting to carry on!
You are all worthy of this life, you're incredible, you are resilient.
#anxiety #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #complexptsd #cptsd #depression #endthestigma #fightthestigma #honest #iamworthy #keepgoing #loveyourself #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mymhjourney #psychotherapy #recovery #selflove #therapy #vulnerablepost

MOST RECENT

I am so grateful to be home with my beautiful dog Jaz and to be able to hug her and walk her. I am grateful to have a dog that helps so much with my mental illness. ▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️
I love being home 🏠 but have been struggling to keep my intake up as it declined during my 6 weeks admission. I am trying to getting it back on track and to get my weight stable. But that is hard when I have been eating less and less so Since being inpatient so I need to get my meal plan and follow it no matter what my head tells me about my weight and my worries about being judged while in Bali. ▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️
I had my first day at day program and I am honestly fucking mentally exhausted 💤 I am doing well in retrospect but I still have a long way to go. ▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️
Just need to keep myself on track and get back on track with eating for Bali.

A Bad Wind Blows The Leaves From A Tree And Smashes Some Branches But The Roots Remain Stronger And Fresh Growth Blossoms ♥️💛💚
#rasta #rastafari #jah #strongwomen #strong #dontgiveup #survivor #fightabuse #ptsd #cptsd #ladiesof420 #queen

I'm already starting to feel a lot better now I'm letting go of smoking. Some physical complaints have surfaced the last few weeks so it might be time to cut sugar out completely for the time being. As a chocoholic this is gonna be hard for me. Yes I know all about raw chocolate and I'm a big fan but the local chocolate store has super high organic quality so I don't wanna let go but I'm afraid I'll have to at least for the time being. Keep you updated!!
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Trigger Warnings

Here the thing is; this is my own personal journey and focuses on me, not other people. It doesn’t mean that other people’s problems aren’t valid and yes, having a mental illness doesn’t matter if you shame fellow neurodivergents. Your mental illness isn’t a get out of jail free card. It is a lot of responsibility and also note, I wasn’t diagnosed until 2012 and it has been a few years since I actually found a good medication regimen and therapy that actually works. Honestly, I didn’t start dealing with my issues until that time as I have always had mental illness. I have always had emotional outbursts in middle and high school. I always broke down. And my mental illness was fine until I started being responsible and worked full time for the first and last time in my life. I was the best employee there and was mourned when I left to go to Kansas after being dealing with an manic outburst at my papa after I told him that he should die. I had and have no recollections of that event and they knew that I was manifesting Bipolar disorder like my aunt when she was in her 30s. In the end, my family is no good in the slightest. Everyone suffers but you don’t get to decide when or what people suffer from.
I guess that my blog can’t be a safe space when it was conceived to be that. I just made friends and whatnot and they started commenting on my blog. In the end, I know the type of person I am and I don’t need your misguided sympathy. You almost made me self harm again and broke me down. Oh well, this is goodbye, it seems. #sailormoon #usagitsukino #eternalsailormoon #sailormoonstars #mentalhealth #mentalillness #bipolardisorder #stigma #depression #cptsd #exfriends #bullshit #byefelicia

Trying to remember how true this is... when inpatient spent a lot of time learning about the anxiety hill and how you have to try and sit with those feelings as they esculate. Very hard to do.

#mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #depression #anxiety #anorexia #eatingdisorders #cptsd #dissocativeidentitydisorder #personalitydisorder #psychosis #prorecovery #recovery #recoveryispossible #mentalillnesssucks #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #strength

This little dude is never too far from me. He even sits on my lap when I'm on the toilet 😂. It's amazing how much love, loyalty, empathy animals have. They're never given enough credit for how truly awesome they really are.
I wouldn't be with out my fur baby shadow. It doesn't matter what time of day or night it is, skitz is always there.

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