May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I’ll be talking about what having clinical depression was like for me. Last week I talked about what getting help involved. This week, what happened after the depression lifts)
After the fog of depression I’d been living under for years finally lifted I was left with... myself. I had to sit with the choices I’d made and the things I’d done. I did it day by day, week by week for months.
That was... uncomfortable.
Taking a long hard look at yourself, stripping away the bullshit and getting to the heart of it. I cried about it, I fought it. Looking back it’s clear to me that I was grieving the loss of myself. The person I was, the life I thought I’d have, all of it. If I wasn’t that person any more who was I? If I wasn’t depressed what was I? I hit all 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Some were so much “fun” I went back and did them again. And again. And again. (Continued👇🏻)