I struggle with gray areas. A lot. Not in a small way, like being staunchly on one side of a political debate, but in a way that can incapacitate me when action is involved. I feel most comfortable with absolutes and predictable outcomes. If you cannot promise me consistency, if you are not always black and never white, you are scary. You are untrustworthy. It is safer to opt out, because that will make you definitively gone.
The obvious gaps in this shortcoming are that good things exist in the gray areas. By sitting insistently on only one bench or the other, I miss out on the entire game taking place on the field between the benches. And then of course there's the fact that there IS a game going on between the benches. Turning a blind eye to that means I'm utterly unable to anticipate a player stumbling over the sidelines and knocking my bench over.
There are so many gray areas, and they are all so unpredictable. There are so many things that are inherently unsafe, things that carry the risk of pain and discomfort.
Love carries risk. Love can cause pain. Love is entirely gray, all the time. I'm not very good at gray spaces... but there are a lot of things I am better at than I used to be. You get better at things you're bad at by practicing. You practice every day, and things that used to be hard get to be easier.
If opting out is the black end of the spectrum, you have to wade through the gray in order to get to the white end - the all-in end. You have to accept the gray in order to get through it. Most of life is like that, with no switch to flip or teleportation devices.
So I practice moving through the gray. Some days it's downright shitty. But if I give up and turnaround, there's no way to get any closer to the other end of the spectrum. So if I want things to change, I have to embrace the gray. 👍 #mcm #motivationmonday btw, these @umstuff leggings with these yellow #chucktaylors make me feel like a #superhero 💛